


In Search of A Harbor

by PandaTurtle333



Series: S.O.S. [2]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Asthma, Depression, F/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, PTSD, References to Depression, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-24 16:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaTurtle333/pseuds/PandaTurtle333
Summary: In this sequel to In The Eye of The Storm, Anna Wycoff tries to find her place in the group. Tensions escalate threatening to tear the group apart. In order to survive in this broken world Anna must first learn what it means to live.





	1. Prologue

_CDC, day 63…_

_The room was tense and quiet. Anderson’s face was smooth and emotionless, as usual. But, there was something in his dark eyes. Something like hurt and anger. Betrayal in its purest form, hidden underneath his veil of stoicism._

_"He turned?” It was a simple enough question, but Anna couldn’t seem to get her answer past the lump in her throat. So, instead, she simply nodded, her eyes trained on the floor. “Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_"I didn’t…, I didn’t want to hurt you.” Anna choked out, hot tears flowing down her heated cheeks. She chanced a glance at him and could see the gears in his head turning._

_“He was my best friend, Anna.”_

_Anna could feel her knees weaken at the way his voice strained, but she forced herself to remain standing. She had stolen his chance to mourn the only person who had really known him, and she couldn’t give that back. She couldn’t give any of it back._

_Anderson turned away from Anna and began to pace the room. “He turned…” he repeated. “He was shot…and he turned…”_

_“I know. It was my fault. I couldn’t care for him while you were away. He was delusional, he wouldn’t eat, the wound went septic—”_

_“He wasn’t bitten.” Anderson stated, effectively cutting Anna off._

_“…no…?” Anna asked, drawing out the word as if it should have been obvious._

_“Not when I left him..., he wasn’t bitten….” Anderson murmured, just loud enough for Anna to hear, but seeming to be talking to himself. “Were you attacked after I left?”_

_“No…” Anna said, her confusion evident. “He died from the gunshot wound.”_

_Anderson turned back to her, finally including her on his thoughts. “He wasn’t bitten, he died from the gunshot wound… he turned.”_

_“Yes.” Anna was trying to figure out what he was working through when it hit her all at once.  She thought back to how she hadn’t questioned Evan’s sudden reanimation. She hadn’t even considered it worth mentioning that he hadn’t been bitten, hadn’t considered that Anderson might not know what she had readily accepted; and she had accepted it, without any more thought than it took to breathe._

_“We’re all infected.”_


	2. Chapter One

Anna clenched her hands together, feeling the pain from the scabs on her palms, thinking about how she had gotten them. Just as the CDC exploded, she had practically launched herself into the nearest thing before collapsing to the ground. That “thing” happened to be a person named Daryl Dixon. His arms wrapping around her protectively seemed almost instinctual, and she shuddered at the memory. Rather than dwell on that, she focused on the throbbing in her palms as she broke the scabs and pearls? of red blossomed on her skin.

When she had hit the ground, her hands scraped along the pavement, breaking and pulling at her flesh. In her journal later, she wrote about everything that had occurred, everything that she felt. More than a few times, she had to pause and viciously scribble on the pages to vent out the rage building up inside of her. She wanted to pretend that the world wasn’t over, that everyone she had ever known before wasn’t dead.

“T-Dog, could you give us a moment of privacy?” Anderson’s words cut through her thoughts.

T-Dog looked up from the book he was reading.  “Uh…” he looked to Anna, who merely shrugged in response. “Sure.” And with that, T-Dog gave them what little privacy he could in the cramped Winnebago.

“How are you feeling?” Anderson asked, immediately launching into some sort of make-shift therapy session.

“Fine, why?” Anna asked, narrowing her eyes at her companion.

“I’m just wondering.” He said evenly. “I know how quickly you can make connections with others, and I’m fairly certain what we found in the city was rather hard on you.” Anderson watched her carefully, waiting for her to snap at him, but she remained calm.

“I’m fine.” Anna shrugged, leaning back on the bed to continue writing in her journal, ignoring the dark, chaotic scribbles that spoke truer than her words ever could. “Anything else you want to know?”  She asked flippantly, determined to seem unbothered.

Anderson waited a moment before finally asking. 

“Have you taken your medicine today?”

Anna felt the pen in her hand strain under her grip. “I took half of one this morning.” It was true. She had taken her knife and cut a pill in half while taking her turn in the bathroom.

“Is half a pill enough?” he asked.

Anna looked to his face, studying how much he’d changed in just a few months. His dark beard had grown in, and she could tell it bothered him not being clean shaven. His dark eyes had circles under them, and his previously unlined skin now had worry lines on his forehead and at the corners of his eyes. He wore a simple grey shirt with a pair of denim jeans and hiking boots – all of which were covered in a combination of dirt, sweat and walker blood – a stark contrast to the sleek black business suit he’d been wearing that day so long ago on the tarmac.

She thought of how she must look; her dark hair pulled back in a greasy bun, her plain clothes hanging loose on her frame, the dark circles, the hollowness in her eyes. She knew Anderson could see the storm raging on in her head, and she knew that he was worried for her – if only for his own survival and his promise to Evan.

As the thought of Evan reared its ugly head, the Winnebago came to a halting stop. She immediately got up to investigate, ready to leave the conversation and her thoughts behind.

“Anna.” Anderson called, gently grabbing her arm. She stopped but didn’t turn back. “Is it going to be enough?”

“It has to be.” She stated quietly before delicately pulling her arm from his grasp and exiting the RV with the others.

“I said it. Didn't I say it?” Dale demanded, as he and the others exited the Winnebago. “A thousand times. Dead in the water.”

“Problem, Dale?” Shane asked, coming around the RV, shotgun in hand.

 “Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of—” Dale trailed off, watching as Daryl began to pick through the back of an open truck. “Okay, that was dumb.” The group looked to the highway filled with abandoned vehicles, ripe for the picking.

Shane was the first to speak. “If you can't find a radiator hose here…”

Daryl started tossing items he deemed useful to the ground at his feet. “There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find.”

“I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start.” T-Dog suggested.

 “Maybe some water.”

 “Or food.”

“This is a graveyard.” Lori said, looking to Rick. “I don't know how I feel about this.” Everyone looked to each other, uncomfortable with her assertion.

“The whole world is a graveyard.” Anna said, walking past her. She purposefully began rummaging through the next vehicle. She could feel irritation building up in her chest. _All of these people are dead, Lori. They aren’t using any of this stuff,_ she thought to herself, unwilling to stir up any further conversation on the matter.

The group jumped into action. “All right, all right, here we go.”

“Come on, y'all. Just look around, gather what you can.” Shane barked.

 

Anna found herself gravitating around Carl and Sophia, unwilling to let the two smallest members of the group out of her sight. The two in question wandered behind their respective mothers, glancing inside the cars they passed.

“Kids, don’t look.” Carol stated as she and Lori looked into one car with a rotting corpse inside.

 Anna kept close to the children as they wandered about the cars, their mothers scavenging inside suitcases, looking for clothes and medicine.

“Ed never let me wear anything nice like this.” Anna turned her head to find Carol, seeming embarrassed, folding a brilliant red dress and placing it into the car she was standing at. “We’re gonna need clothes.”

Anna considered how poorly dressed everyone was – there weren’t many opportunities to look fashionable in the apocalypse. She opened her own car, a red Toyota truck with a single duffel in the front seat. The loud zipper broke through the tense quiet like rolling thunder, and it grated on her nerves. She took in a deep breath – ignoring the putrid smell lingering in the air – to try to calm herself.

“Hey, Anna look!” Sophia ran up to her, holding a pretty white shirt up to her torso. It had lacy ruffles for sleeves and white buttons down the middle that looked like daisies. Sophia didn’t seem to notice the small amount of blood lining the hem of the shirt.

“That’s a very pretty shirt, Sophia.” Anna replied, smiling kindly as she turned her whole body towards the little girl. “How about we put it away until we get to Fort Benning? You don’t want it to get too dirty, do you?” Anna asked, holding her hand out for the shirt.

Sophia seemed to think for a moment before handing it over.

“Anna, Sophia! Look at what I found!” Carl came running over, zigzagging through cars, very clearly from out of his mother’s sight. In his hands, he held an old bright green Gameboy color, complete with the game _1942_. “Isn’t it cool!”

“Do you have any idea what you’ve found?” Anna exclaimed, playfully snatching the Gameboy from his hands and holding it out of reach, as if inspecting it. “This is a real treasure, a relic really – I bet you two don’t even know what it is!”

“Hey! I found it! And it’s a Gameboy – it says so right there!”

From the corner of her eye, Anna could see Carol and Lori smiling at Anna and their children, shaking their heads good-naturedly at her antics.

“Lori, under the cars.” Anna’s attention snapped to Rick, who was crouched down and running towards them. “Carl, Sophia, Anna, get down. Now.”

The urgency in his voice and face caused Anna to panic. She reached her hands out to grab the nearest child, which happened to be Carl, and she flung him under the car. She reached for Sophia, who was already climbing under her own vehicle. Helpless, Anna positioned herself next to Carl and held her breath.

 She cast her eyes around frantically, heart in her throat, as she took stock of where everyone was. She could see Lori and Carol under a jeep Cherokee, Lori’s hand over Carol’s mouth to stifle her sobs at the vulnerability of Sophia hiding alone. She couldn’t see Anderson, Daryl, or any of the others. But she could see the shuffling of dirty, bloodied feet and hear the groaning and growls of walkers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that you should never change your medication dosage without first consulting your doctor.


	3. Chapter Two

Anna’s back was pressed hard against the ground, as if she could disappear into the asphalt. She clutched Carl to her side so tight that she couldn’t tell who was shaking harder. She muttered barely audible reassurances in his ear, hoping to keep him calm and quiet and praying to whatever God was out there that the walkers wouldn’t hear her or her pounding heart.

She was panicking, she knew. The adrenaline was racing through her bloodstream, telling her to run the hell away, but she couldn’t move. She felt bile rising in her throat, her stomach twisting into knots.   Her head felt like it was full of helium.

“It’s okay…” Came a whisper so soft she thought it was in her head. She glanced down at Carl, who curled his hand into hers, and she finally realized she was hyperventilating. As much as she wanted Carl’s words to calm her, the closeness of the walkers, the bottom of the truck, the ground, even just how close Carl was to her, set her on edge.

She knew that the only thing keeping her from behaving like a rabid animal was the little boy at her side. She focused on him, his body heat, his shoulder digging into her rib-cage. She had to keep him safe. If only she could have grabbed Sophia, too.

Anna tilted her head so that she could see the little girl in question, clutching her teddy bear as if it would protect her from the monsters.

The second the shuffling feet disappeared, and she couldn’t hear the walkers anymore, Anna rolled out from under the truck. She sat with her back against the front tire and buried her head in her knees, trying to breathe. _The danger has passed,_ she tried to tell herself. _You’re safe._ But nothing could cut through the storm raging inside her mind and the panic in her body.

Nothing except the screams and cries of Sophia.

Anna jumped to her feet and rounded the truck. It took a moment for her eyes to find the little girl-- and the three walkers following her retreating form into the trees. Rick wasn’t too far behind her.

“Oh Lori! There’s two walkers after my baby!” the sound of Carol’s strained voice sent Anna into motion. Panic turned to purpose and she shot forward towards the tree line. The only thing stopping her was the pair of arms that suddenly wrapped around her torso.

“Let Rick handle it.” Anderson demanded in her ear, keeping her in a secure hold so that she couldn’t slip out. She could feel the panic ebbing up again, and the anger.

“Let go of me!” she snapped. Tears pricked at her eye lids. She was no longer focused on going after Sophia. Now, she was focused on not falling apart in front of the group.

_He placed a knee on both of her legs and held her down with his right hand against her chest. His other hand found its way to her waist and began to undo her pants._

Her chest heaved, and she began choking on air. “Let me go.” She pleaded breathlessly.

 

 

Daryl shoved the corpse off him and jumped to his feet to pull the walker off T-Dog. “You alright, man?” he asked, inspecting the long, jagged gash down the arm of the man in question.

“Just fine.” T-Dog replied, sarcasm slurring off his tongue. He’d lost a lot of blood – so much that it was a wonder the walkers hadn’t smelled it past the surrounding rotting flesh the two were using as cover.

Daryl wrapped his bandana around T-Dogs arm, “Put pressure on that.” He said before leading the stumbling man back towards the RV, expecting one of the others to be better equipped at handling the injury.

He was not expecting the group to be staring at the forest lining the highway, distraught expression on their faces, or for Anna to be throwing a fit in Anderson’s arms.

“What’s goin’ on?”  He demanded, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach at the sight of tears streaming down Anna’s face.

“Sophie was chased into the woods by some walkers – Rick went after her.” Anderson stated, releasing Anna, who very quickly retreated to the RV.

“Sophia!”  Carol snapped, whirling on the man. “Her name is Sophia.”

“How many walkers?” Daryl asked, trying to turn Carol’s focus on him.

“Three.” Lori replied.

“And Rick went after them?”

“Yes.”

“Daryl, T-Dog, come with me, we’ll give him a hand.” Shane declared.

Anderson’s face remained impassive as he immediately turned the conversation to T-Dog.  “What happened to your arm?”

Everyone looked to the three of them, and Shane instantly bristled. 

“Were you bit?” he asked, the grip on his shotgun tightening noticeably.

“Cut myself on a car door.” T-Dog clarified, removing the bandana to show-case the gash, which was still gushing blood.

“Maybe keep pressure on it.” Glenn suggested, grimacing at the sight and turning almost green in the face.

“Come with me.  I’ll do what I can.” Anderson said, gesturing for T-Dog to follow him to the RV.

“Guess that leaves T-Dog out.” Glenn muttered.

“Yeah.” Shane stated, tossing Glenn Rick’s dropped rifle, “and you in.”

 

 

“What the hell happened?” Anna blurted out the second she saw the blood covering the front of Andrea. She looked down and saw the walker on the ground, a hole in its face where an eye should be. “Oh. Are…are you okay?”

“Have you ever?” Andrea asked, choking back her sobs.

Anna’s heart was still pounding in her chest, and her ears still felt clogged as she bent down to grab hold of the walker’s arm to drag it out of the Winnebago, but she knew exactly what Andrea was talking about. _“Shit! Shit!” Anna pushed back on the heavy body atop her, blindly trying to avoid the snapping jaws of the corpse._

“Yeah.”

The weight of the walker lightened the closer she got to the door, pulling Anna out of her memories to see that Andrea had taken hold of the walker’s ankles. Andrea cursed at the feel of the rotting flesh on her fingers.

“It isn’t fair.” She seethed.

“I don’t think walkers understand the concept of fair.” Anna regarded, her words a little harsher than she had intended. “Look, I know it’s hard but…” _“Evan! Please, just stop!” she cried, the tears falling freely. “Please!” He drew closer to her, his eyes hungry. “Evan!” Her hands shook, the gun unsteady, her heart pumping ice through her veins and thudding in her ears, but all she could truly hear was Evan – growling. “Please….”_

“Those things aren’t the people they were before.”

“That’s not what I mean. I wanted to go my way. I don’t want to end up like this.” Andrea said, looking to the walker as they dropped him to the ground in the median outside the RV. “Dale took that away from me. And Anderson took that away from you.”

Anna clenched her hands at her sides, pinching her thigh through her jeans. She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off.

“Anna. I could use your help with T-Dog.” Anderson called out.

Anna let out a heavy sigh.  “You should get cleaned up,” she suggested before turning away.

 

When Anna saw the large gash down T-Dog’s arm, she felt her empty stomach churn and her throat constrict uncomfortably.

“What the hell happened?”  She asked for the second time that day, grabbing a towel as she sat beside T-Dog to put pressure on his wound.

Anderson reappeared with a meager first aid kit in hand. “He cut himself on a car.”

“Now, why would you go and do that?” Anna teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Her words came out tense, though. _I just need to focus on helping T-Dog, and I’ll calm down,_ she thought.

Anderson immediately set to cleaning and dressing the wound in the towel, using duct-tape to hold it down.

“How did you learn first aid” Anna asked, trying to distract T-Dog.

“My sister was a combat medic in Afghanistan. She taught me a few things.” Anderson replied, focusing on his task.

“She anything like you?” T-Dog asked.

“Not at all.”

“What happened to her?” T-Dog pushed, seeming to be genuinely curious, though tired.

Anderson paused briefly and looked at Anna, his dark eyes almost searching for her to understand what he was about to say. “She passed…before.”

 

The sun had just passed the halfway point through the day and Anna was anxious. The only thing left for her to worry about was Sophia, and Anderson was dead set on not letting her leave the highway. So, she continued scavenging through cars.

When Shane and Glenn reemerged from the forests without Sophia, Carol began to frantically pester them with questions about her daughter.

 “Rick and Daryl are still out there, they picked up her trail.” Shane assured, all too familiar with dealing with frantic mothers missing their children.

 “They haven’t found her yet?” Anna turned at the sudden voice beside her. Carl was standing next to her, clearly upset by the fact that his friend hadn’t returned.

Anna let out a heavy sigh.  “Your dad is still out there with Daryl. They’ll find her.” Anna watched as Lori wrapped her arm around Carol’s shoulder and led her away from Shane as he began giving chores to everyone.

“Dale, you keep working on the RV.  Andrea you help me move these cars.  Lori, Anna you two keep scavenging. Glenn, I want you to keep siphoning gas. Anderson, if you could stay on watch.” Shane didn’t bother giving Carol a task, as he knew she’d want to keep on the lookout for Daryl, Rick and her daughter.

“What can I do Shane?” Carl asked, excitedly running up to the man.

Seeing the exasperated look on Shane’s face that Carl clearly didn’t see, Anna walked up behind Carl and set her hand gently on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you help me look through the cars? Maybe we’ll find something cool.”

Carl looked from Anna back to Shane, hoping the man would give him a more interesting duty. Shane merely smiled gratefully at Anna. 

“Yeah, why don’t you help Anna look for stuff. Stay close to her.”

Carl begrudgingly turned around and started to wander towards the cars. As Anna went to follow, Shane stopped her with a touch to her arm.

 “Hey, thanks for the back up.” He said.

Anna turned to him and nodded, giving him a small smile.  Her eyes landed on the thin pink lines within the stubble on his jaw. The scratches from the CDC were still healing, and her mind wandered back to the meaningful exchange of glances between Lori and Shane regarding those scratches.

“Yeah… no problem.” She stated simply, before jogging to catch up to Carl.

As she was about to reach the boy, she caught a glimpse of bright green and white. Anna stopped, and on the ground at her feet was the Gameboy Carl had discovered, abandoned on the road alongside the pretty white shirt Sophia had presented to her. Anna snatched both up, intending to stow them away for later when a high-pitched scream came from ahead of her – where Carl was.

“Carl?” Anna shouted, taking off at a sprint in the direction of the scream. He came barreling around a dark blue truck, carrying a leather roll, and she could distinctly see the top of a hatchet poking out of it.

“Look what I found!”  He cheered, showing her his treasure briefly before taking off again.  “I’m gonna go show Shane! Come on!”

Anna let out a long groan, suddenly very aggravated with the kid. Nonetheless, she followed him to the green sedan Shane was fixing.

“Shane!”

“Carl? What happened?” Lori said, worry filling her tone. Carl simply ignored her in favor of the man working under the hood.

“I found something cool!” He declared, placing the arsenal on the ground, too excited to care about how his mother – or Anna, for that matter – felt.

Lori paced, exasperated with her son, until her eyes fell on Anna.

“You were supposed to be watchin’ him.” She stated, clearly trying hard to keep the accusation out of her voice. “What happened?”

“He found something cool.” Anna replied flippantly, not even bothering to hide her irritation.

Before Lori could respond, Carl’s exclamation at finding a hatchet called her attention.

“Be careful, don’t play with that.” She warned.

“It’s really sharp!”

“What did I just say?”  She demanded, holding her hand out for the weapon.

“Can I keep it?” Carl asked, completely unfazed.

“Are you crazy?” Lori snatched the hatchet from Carl and began to replace it into the leather holding.

“No way.” Carl was incredulous, and he turned to Shane, clearly looking for backup. “Shane,” he began, “Shane, tell her to let me keep it.” Anna wanted to guffaw at the prospect that Shane could tell Lori what to do.

“Hey man, go give it to Dale. Now. Go.”

The utterly crushed look that crossed Carl’s face forced any irritation Anna was feeling out the window.

“Come on, buddy – let’s go see Dale.” Lori handed the arsenal to Carl, and gently patted him on.

As the pair left Lori and Shane in favor of the Winnebago, Anna thought now would be as good a time as any to lift Carl’s spirits with the Gameboy.

 _– The emergency system has been activated. —_ Everyone’s attention immediately turned to the strange male voice. It was a radio transmission. The remaining group congregated around Shane’s green car, Anna leaving Carl to wait for her in front of the RV.  – _The Office of Civil Defense has issued the following message: Normal broadcasting will cease immediately. This is a civil emergency—_

Glenn drowned out the broadcast, asking if it was a local signal.

“It’s gotta be within 50 miles of here.” Dale declared.

 _– avoid infection at all costs. Remain calm. Help is on the way. –_ Anna snorted at the end of the message before it began to play again.

Shane shut the radio off. “Asshole.” He said. “Okay. Let’s get back to work."


	4. Chapter Three

It was morning, and Anna did not want to be awake. She and Carl had spent the night playing _1974_ on the Gameboy as a means of lightening their spirits. When Daryl and Rick had finally returned from their search without Sophia, everyone was crestfallen – most of all, Carol.

           

_“How could you just leave her out there?”_ _She asked. “How could you just leave her?”  Her normally mousy voice was now hard, urgent, and accusing._

_Rick took a step back before taking a knee in front of her as he tried to explain his decision. Shane tried to back him up, affirming that it was the only choice Rick could make, and Lori tried to keep Carol calm by rubbing her back in soothing circles._

_But none of it mattered.  “My little girl got left alone in the woods.”_

 

At some point in the night, Carl had asked Anna if he could go with the group on the morning search for Sophia. Anna explained he’d have to ask his parents.

 

_"How do I get them to let me go?”_

_Anna thought for a moment, trying to decide for herself if he should go. In the end, she figured if his parents really wanted him to stay behind, it didn’t matter what he said – or what she told him to say._

_“Tell them that they’ll need all the people they can get to cover more ground; that should convince them.”_

 

She’d heard him repeating the assertion throughout the night until he finally passed out from exhaustion.  When the group was gathering to leave, all armed with an assortment of bladed weapons – save for Rick and Shane, who carried guns, and Daryl with his crossbow – Carl approached Lori and Rick, determined that he would be joining them, repeating what Anna had told him to.

Anna grinned to herself when Rick agreed to let him go.  She picked up the last remaining weapon – a machete – while ignoring the grumbling and cursing of Andrea for not having her gun.

“This is bullshit.” She said, along with other colorful phrases. Anna found that it was quickly grinding on her nerves.

“Did they take your gun, too?”

At first, Anna didn’t realize Andrea was addressing her, but when she saw that it was just the two of them, Anna nodded, leveling an impassive stare at the blonde woman.

 “We deserved to go out our own way.”

 

_Anna had retreated to the bathroom the second everyone settled in a non-corpse-filled area of the old-folk’s home. Her hands had been shaking the entire time, and she knew that Anderson had noticed. She ignored his curious glances, the silent question of “Are you okay?”_

_She couldn’t be around him, or Glenn, who was quietly crying in a corner by himself.  She couldn’t be around the children asking their mothers why they were not allowed further into the compound, or around Rick, who wore guilt like a cloak, or even Daryl, who wore his indifference like armor._

_The redness of her face had her cursing herself for crying the entire time they gathered up the Vatos-group. Rick and Shane had agreed they couldn’t stay for very long – at least not long enough to bury everyone. They had to get to Fort Benning._

_But, Anna didn’t want to go to Fort Benning. She didn’t want to bring whatever curse seemed to follow her; everyone she came to care about died. It was only a matter of time before her group perished, too. First it was Evan, then Jim, then the Vatos. Who would be next? Anderson? Glenn? Daryl?_

_She didn’t want any of them to get hurt – not a single person in her newfound family. Her very existence put them at risk, and she could not have that._

_Her fingers twitched around the gun tucked in her pants. It would be so easy, and the others would be fine, they’d be safe._

_“Anna.”_

Anna shook her head.

“Actually, I gave Anderson my gun the night we got to the city.” She didn’t want to think about that night, or the way Daryl had looked at her hand on the gun. He still couldn’t look at her. She wished Daryl hadn’t found her – in the bathroom or in the woods.

Andrea seemed to give up on the discussion with Anna, realizing there wasn’t much the younger woman could do in their similar circumstances. Instead, she decided to go straight to the keeper of the guns. Dale.

“Andrea, I’m begging you, don’t put me in this position.”

“I’m not going out there without my gun.” Andrea declared, ignoring Dale’s plea. “I’ll even say please.”

“I’m doing this for you.”

“No, Dale, you’re doing it for you.” She snapped. “You need to stop. What do you think is gonna happen? I’m gonna stick it in my mouth and pull the trigger the moment you hand it to me?”

Dale seemed to know he was going to lose this argument – if one could really call it that – but he couldn’t seem to give up his stance. 

“I know you’re angry at me. That much is clear. But if I hadn’t done what I did, you’d be dead now.”

“Jenner gave us an option. I chose to stay.”

“You chose suicide.” _Suicide._ Anna flinched at the word. She’d never said it before… she could never bring herself to. And here was Dale, saying it so easily.

_“Have you ever tried to?” Glenn finally asked. His voice was so quiet he was afraid, hoping, she hadn’t heard him._

“So, what’s that to you? You barely know me.”

“I know Amy’s death devastated you.”

“Keep her out of this.” She stated, skipping the warnings. “This is not about Amy. This is about us. And if I decided that I had nothing left to live for, who the hell are you to tell me otherwise? To force my hand like that?” Anna clenched her fists at Andrea’s tirade. Her heart pounded in her ears with anger at the woman’s behavior towards someone who so blatantly cared about her well-being.

“I saved your life.”

“No, Dale. I saved yours. You forced that on me. I didn’t want your blood on my hands and that is the only reason I left that building. What did you expect? What, I’d have some kind of epiphany? Some life-affirming catharsis?”

“Maybe just a little gratitude.”

“Gratitude? I wanted to die my way, not torn apart by drooling freaks. That was my choice. You took that away from me, Dale.”

“But—”

“But you know better? All I wanted after my sister died was to get out of this endless, horrific nightmare we live every day. I wasn’t hurting anyone else. You took my choice away, Dale. And you expect gratitude?” Choice. Choice was all that mattered in the end – wasn’t it? To make the choices you have left – _it might even be the most important thing now,_ Anna thought.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not your little girl. I’m not your wife. And I am sure as hell not your problem. That’s all there is to say.” And having successfully ripped into Dale, Andrea walked off – though, still without her gun.

The group, having witnessed the encounter, dispersed rather awkwardly. Anna simply shook her head. She didn’t know who was right. Perhaps both… or neither. She didn’t know – and it wasn’t up to her to decide who was.

“Anna.” Anna jumped, her thoughts interrupted by Anderson. “I spoke with Rick about you carrying a gun – I would feel better if you had something better to defend yourself with than a machete.”

Anna stared at the gun, considering it. It was sleek and black. The same gun Evan and Anderson had given her when they first left the apartment in favor of the outdoors. The same gun she had put to her temple not too long ago, ready to pull the trigger until her companions returned, one of them wounded. The same gun she had given to Anderson last night after leaving the bathroom, Daryl trailing behind her.

She felt her fingers twitch, ready to take the gun from his hands, but she paused.

“No.” she said, thinking better of taking it. “I think it’s best if you hold onto it. For now.” She clarified.

Anderson searched her face, looking for something Anna couldn’t fathom, before he tucked the weapon into his pants and gestured for her to keep up with him as he turned away and followed the group into the woods.

 

“She could be in there.” Shane said.

Anna stared at the tent. It was the exact same – save for the color – as the tent Evan had died in. The surroundings were almost identical, too, and she hated the trembling in her hands at the sight of it.

“Could be a whole bunch of things in there.” Daryl replied, beginning the approach first. Rick gestured for the rest of the group to wait before he and Shane followed.

Everyone watched eagerly as Daryl inspected the tent, hunting knife in hand and ready to strike at any threat.

“Carol.” Rick called softly, and the woman jogged over to them.

The others cautiously followed after her in time to hear her call out. 

“Sophia, sweetie. Are you in there?” Nothing.

_Behind her, inside the tent, came a rustling. She turned slowly, her eyes wide._

_“Evan?” Anna called hesitantly. The rustling grew more urgent at the sound of her voice. Her heart began to race in blind joy. She dropped the shovel and launched herself at the opening of the tent, making quick work of unzipping the entrance._

_“Evan!”  She smiled broadly, fully prepared to wrap her arms around her friend, when she felt the air leave her._

Anna shook her head, trying to erase the memories as Daryl unzipped the tent. She held her breath, waiting for Sophia to launch herself out of the tent at him, dead and hungry. He drew the tent flap back and….

Nothing. Nothing happened. Daryl disappeared inside the tent, coughing and covering his face. She didn’t have to be any closer to smell the putrid scent of rotting flesh.

Rick and Shane were coughing, trying to get the offending odor out of their mouths, as they stood the closest – excluding Daryl.

“Daryl?” Carol called. Anna could tell she was readying herself for the worst news of her life. “Daryl?”  She repeated when he didn’t answer.

He finally exited the tent.   “It ain’t her.” He stated.

“What’s in there?” Andrea asked.

“What do you think?” Anna responded, biting her tongue as the words came out. Andrea said nothing to her, waiting for confirmation from Daryl.

“Some guy.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “Did what Jenner said, _opted out._ Ain’t that what he called it?” Anna flinched away from the heavy, fleeting glance Daryl gave her as he spoke.

The air was tense as the group went silent for different reasons. Some for the obvious jab at the decision Anna and Andrea made back at the CDC, and most for the lack of Sophia.

Then came the church bells.

 

 

The chiming of the church bells spurred her legs forward, past the aching in her chest and muscles _It has to be her._ She needed it to be her, they all did, and she repeated it over and over in her head as she ran. After losing so many people they cared about, after the CDC and learning that this nightmare was never going to end, Sophia had become something of a symbol of hope in her absence. Tangible hope that they could touch and hug and kiss when they finally found her. They had to find her.

Anna felt a sudden jolt in her foot as it caught on the low rocks that encircled the small cemetery. She rolled a few times until she landed her back, out of breath and staring at the blinding sun beating down on her from above with waves of heat.

Her chest heaved as she tried desperately to get air into her lungs, and she willed her sprawled limbs to move. She lay still, against her wishes, amongst the graves. _Fucking move, god damn it_ , she thought. Her arms and legs twitched but remained nestled in the overgrowing grass.

“You alright?” Anna squinted as a shadow cast over her. Daryl stared back at her, holding his hand out to help her up.

“I don’t think I can move.” She huffed.

Anna could see the corners of his mouth twitch upwards before he frowned at her again.

“You need to work on your endurance.”

“You offering?” The second the words left her mouth, she regretted them.

Daryl’s jaw clenched before he unceremoniously yanked Anna up by her arms, throwing one over his shoulder. His left arm looped around her waist – his right occupied with his crossbow – and supported her weight. “You think you can move your legs?”

“Yeah…” she muttered, focusing entirely on pushing one leg forward and then the next. She could feel the heat rising in her face, and if her chest hurt before, it was unbearable now. “Sorry.”

Daryl said nothing as he placed her on the steps to the church, leaning her against the railing. She dug through her pocket and pulled out her inhaler. She took one long breath as she squeezed the puffer once.

“She alright?” Lori asked, approaching them with a bottle of water to offer Anna.

“Yeah, I just tripped is all.” Anna explained. “I’m not used to all this running – no wonder you’re so thin, Lori – all this running.” She sighed, accepting the water and taking a long swig. The feeling was quickly rushing back to her limbs, and aside from the tingling in her extremities, she was grateful she’d be able to move on her own. “Is she in there? Why did the bells stop?”

“Automated.” Glenn explained, appearing at her left by the door. “Sophia—she wasn’t here.”

 

 

Anna bowed her head, her hands folded between her knees. She bounced her right knee unconsciously in the third to last row on the left side of Jesus. So far, the search for Sophia had been fruitless, and the morale of the group was plummeting.

She had originally entered the church with the intent to pray – something she didn’t have much experience with in the first place – but, she found herself stuck on thoughts that had been lingering in her mind like some dark shadow. _What if Sophia is gone?_ She didn’t want to say it aloud, as if to do so would make it true. Such a small, terrified little girl with no way to defend herself had no chance on her own. _Why didn’t I grab her?_ She thought. _Why didn’t I go after her?_

“Stop blaming yourself.” Anna jumped in her seat as Anderson slid into the pew beside her.

She sighed heavily. “My mom and dad used to go to church every Sunday.” Anna muttered, squeezing her hands together. “They always wanted me to go, but I never felt the need to.” She shook her head. “I mean, I don’t have anything against worship and that kind of stuff… I just… I don’t – I was hoping for something here.”

“I think everyone was hoping for something here.” Anderson responded, nodding his head towards Carol, who was now leaning into Lori in the front row.

Anna felt tears well up in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. She didn’t feel it was her place to weep. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asked, “Of course I want us to find Sophia.”

“So, we can get off the highway?”

Anderson sighed heavily.  “Evan’s daughter wasn’t much younger than Sophia when she died.”

Anna’s eyes widened, and she turned to gape at the man to her left. “She died?”

Anderson nodded. “She was buried in South Carolina where she was born. Near Myrtle Beach.”

Anna huffed. “Evan never told me.”

“He never liked to refer to her as being dead. That was why he and his wife divorced. He couldn’t let her let go.” Anderson explained. He wiped the sweat off his brow and stretched, allowing his back to pop several times before relaxing again.

Anna watched him carefully, remembering each time Anderson had stiffened at the mere mention of the girl. “How did she die?”

He didn’t seem to outwardly react to her question, but his eyes darkened ever so slightly. “Hit by a drunk driver.” He stated simply. Anderson adjusted his position so that he was looking at Anna straight on but could also see if anyone else was listening in on their conversation. “I know you blame yourself for Sophia, and for Evan, and even for the men at in the city. But, they weren’t your fault.”

Anna grimaced, disbelief filling her – _of course it’s my fault,_ she thought.

“You don’t know how I feel, Anderson.” She whispered, unable to meet his steady gaze.

“I blame myself for Kaylie every day.”

“Why? Were you the drunk driver?” Anna asked. Her heart pounded louder and louder in her ears as his silence dragged on and on. “Anderson?”


	5. Chapter Four

“Anderson?”  She asked again. Anderson took in a long slow breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. He had to select his words carefully – he always had to. He could see in her face that the extended silence was worrying her.

“No,” he stated simply, trying to alleviate the fears that were no doubt forming in her head, “I wasn’t the idiot that hit her.” He couldn’t help the venom from entering his words – he never could. _I was the idiot that turned his back when I was supposed to be watching her._ “I was supposed to be watching her.” He continued slowly, trying desperately to train the emotion out of his voice.  “The point is, I know what you’re feeling – regarding Sophia.” He had to change the focus of the conversation; he didn’t know how much longer he could talk about that brown-haired little girl before he did something foolish, like cry.

“But, you didn’t know some asshole was gonna –”

“I know. And you need to know that you couldn’t have known she would run off and get lost.” Anderson waved her off as she opened her mouth to protest again.  “I stopped you from going after her because I thought Rick could handle the situation on his own. I was wrong – if you’re going to blame anyone, Anna, blame me – but stop beating yourself up.”

He stood, wanting the conversation to be over – ever since the CDC he’d felt more vulnerable, and he did not like it.

“I don’t blame you.” She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear as he walked out of the church.

 

“Y’all gonna follow the creek bed back, okay? Daryl, you’re in charge.” Shane announced, approaching the group gathered under the shade of the tree in front of the church. “Me and Rick, we’re just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough.”

Anderson cleared his throat.  “I’ll stay, as well.”

“You’re splitting us up. You sure?” Daryl interjected.

Shane sighed.  “Yeah, we’ll catch up to you.”

“I want to stay, too.” Carl called, stepping forward. “I’m her friend.” Anna had to admire his determination to find Sophia.

There was a moment of silence as Lori and Rick exchanged a meaningful look before Lori spoke.  “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.”

Lori said her goodbyes to her son and husband, then Rick held out his large silver gun to her. “You remember how to use this?”

“I’m not taking your gun and leaving you unarmed.” She said, shaking her head.

“Here.” Daryl said, pulling out a tiny pistol that shot maybe only four bullets from what Anna could see.  “Got a spare. Take it.”

Lori did, and in her peripheral vision, Anna could see Andrea rolling her eyes. Anna ignored the woman, who was clearly pissed at not being the one to receive the weapon. Truthfully, if anyone in the group headed back to the highway was to be carrying other than Daryl, Anna wanted it to be Lori.

*

 

 

Daryl wanted to ignore her, tell himself she wasn’t worth the energy to worry about, but he couldn’t help but notice the way she always split her food with the kids, gave up her blanket if someone else seemed a little colder at night, and the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes. He especially noticed the way she stumbled every now and then as the group walked back to the highway in the sweltering heat.

He approached her silently, digging in his pocket for the energy bar he had shoved in his pocket before the search party had left. Her eyes were glazed over as she mindlessly followed the group through the woods.

“Don’t go trippin’ and fallin’ again.” He said, startling her. He noticed how easily she startled, and he wondered what that meant. “Here.” He held the energy bar out to her.

She stared for a moment at the offered food, and then looked up to his face, scrutinizing him. Normally, he could read someone’s face so easily, but she kept her features even while she accepted his offering. “Thank you.” She said, looking back to the food. “I’ll split it with you.” She suggested as she pulled the plastic off the chocolatey treat.

“Nah…” he started, thinking back to this morning when she split her ration between both Sophia and Carl, rather than eat it for herself. “You can’t go doin’ that all the time.” And with that, he left her. He picked up his pace, taking long strides to get away from her without running. He didn’t want her to look at him with those eyes that asked a million questions.

 

 

 

“Nah…”  He had said. “You can’t go doin’ that all the time.” Anna wondered what he meant as she watched his back get further and further away from him. Had he seen her splitting her food? Why had he taken notice? She had a million questions running through her mind and no answers. And she hated not having answers.

 “So, this is it? This the whole plan?” Carol asked, taking a seat on a fallen tree. Lori followed suit, ready for a moment of rest from the five-mile hike through a humid, hot forest. Anna braced herself against a tree and began to chow down on the granola bar Daryl had given her, inspecting the plastic wrapper with its hiker in a red shirt.

Daryl sighed.  “I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups.” He said, leaning against a tree himself.

“Carrying knives and pointy sticks.” Andrea added. “I see you have a gun.” She continued, glancing at Lori.

“Because she probably knows how to use it.” Anna snapped, feeling irritation bubbling in her stomach. That earned an icy glare from Andrea, and she responded in kind.

“Honey, it’s okay.” Lori stated firmly before turning back to Andrea. Anna clenched her jaw shut, seeing the look of pure ire in the woman’s eyes. “You want it? Here,” she said, taking the gun out of her back pocket, “take it.” She offered the little pistol to the blonde, who took it rather resigned, as if she knew there would be more for Lori to say. “I’m sick of the looks you’re giving me. All of you.”

            Anna briefly considered that she was not included in that statement, as she had not cared in the slightest that Lori was given a gun. If Rick trusted her with it – and she did assume a cop’s wife would now how to use a gun – than she was okay.

“Honey, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. And I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick.” Lori began, looking to Carol. “It is in your face every time you look at him. When Sophia ran he didn’t hesitate, did he? Not for a second. I don’t know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did. Or made the hard decisions that he had to make or that anybody could have done it any differently. Anybody?” She looked to the others individually – save for Anna, as if acknowledging that Anna had tried to go after Sophia but was thwarted.  “Y’all look to him and then you blame him when he’s not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you” Lori took a swig of water, effectively ending her speech and the group remained silent, taking in their reprimand.

Andrea was the first to break the silence, handing the pistol back to the thin woman.  “We should keep moving.” She conceded.

And then the sound of a gun firing echoed through the trees.


	6. Chapter Five

Anderson was running hard, forcing his legs to keep going. Rick was carrying Carl in his arms. Shane stuck beside the man who had shot the little boy.

Anderson’s logic was to run ahead and warn this doctor that they were on their way – hoping to keep anyone else from getting shot, and if what the stranger had said could be believed, Anderson just barely had a half a mile left to go before he would see a white farmhouse.

Rick had no doubt lost sight of him by the time he cleared the tree line, running through a field of yellow grass. Finally, behind a large oak tree, he saw it; the white house with a woman in an orange shirt standing on the wrap around porch.

Slinging his rifle behind his back, Anderson slowed to a jog, his muscles screaming at him to stop, but he pushed further until he reached the tree, leaning on it as he finally stopped to catch his breath.

“That’s far enough son.”

Anderson looked up, squinting past the bright light of the sun to see five people at the screen door, one of them brandishing a baseball bat.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” Anderson stated.  “My friend, his son.” He coughed, his lungs burning. “His son has been shot by one of yours.”

The group’s attention shifted to what was behind him, and Anderson looked over his shoulder to see Rick approaching, a near crazed look on his face as he carried his limp son.

“Help me. Help my boy.” Rick pleaded as the group cleared the distance between them.

“Get him inside.” The older man demanded, “Inside!”

 

 

 

They stared between the walker lying stunned on the ground at Andrea’s feet and the woman with short brown hair and high cheek bones sitting on a horse, gripping the bat she had just used to knock the walker off of Andrea.

“Rick sent me, your son’s been shot.   You’ve gotta come with me, now!” she said in a thick southern twang.

Her words finally processed through Anna’s mind and her heart plummeted as she watched Lori climb up to sit behind the woman.

“You can’t go with her! We don’t even know who she is!” shouted Daryl.

_Carl was shot._

“You’re out by the highway?”  The woman asked, turning to Glenn. He nodded, staring back at her. She explained how to get to her farm and rode off as quickly as she’d come. Daryl cursed, putting down the walker that had attacked Andrea with one quick arrow to the head, then stalking off. The others followed, but Anna was glued to the spot, watching as Lori, the woman, and the horse disappeared through the trees.

_Carl was shot._

 

           

Anderson sat on the steps of the porch, watching as Shane and the big man finally arrived. The screen door opened behind him. Anderson peered up at Rick, who seemed completely out of it. Anderson knew that look. It was the same look Evan had given him when he arrived at the scene in front of his house.

_“My baby….” Evan muttered. “My baby – she—”_

_Anderson had sat down in the grass, running his hands through his dark hair, forgetting about the blood that covered them. He’d tried so hard to wake her up, to bring her back. Her scream still rang in his ears._

_He had turned away for just a minute to answer the phone – work had called to tell him he’d gotten the next week off as he’d requested. The week he was going with Evan, Nina and Kaylie to the Grand Canyon for Kaylie’s birthday. Of all the places the little girl wanted to go, she chose the giant crack in the Earth._

_But, now she would never get to see it. And it was all his fault._

Rick, Shane, and the other man, Otis, had gone back inside the house to check on Carl’s condition, but Anderson remained where he was.

He considered how Anna would no doubt start blaming herself for this, too. She did that a lot, Anderson had come to realize over the course of knowing her.  She was always taking responsibility for things she didn’t have to. He noticed that Anna had become entirely focused on finding Sophia, and if that took her mind away from worse things, he’d let her become consumed. But he couldn’t deny that she would eventually collapse under the pressure of trying to protect everyone.

 

Anna was still shaking and struggling to control her breathing. The cool night air was some sort of comfort while she paced outside the RV.

“You’re worried.” Dale called from the top of the Winnebago. She nodded silently. “About Sophia and now Carl.” He continued.

“It’s a lot to deal with.” She responded after a moment. “I can’t imagine what they all must be going through.” She let out a heavy sigh, bracing herself against the hood of a car. Glenn and T-Dog had left for the farm roughly an hour ago and had asked if she wanted to join them. She could admit to herself that she had been rather too vehement in her assertion that she did not, but the others didn’t say anything. She wasn’t ready to face a possibly dying Carl when it was her fault he was out there in the first place.

The creak of someone exiting the RV echoed in the air, and Anna glanced over her shoulder to see Daryl with his crossbow on his back and a flashlight in his hand.  He gave her a fleeting look before turning to Dale.

“I’m going for a walk, shine some light in the forest.” He explained. “If she’s out there, give her something to look at.”

Anna couldn’t contain herself.  “You mind if I come along?” She was tired of doing nothing.

“You think that’s a good idea right now?” Dale asked, squatting down to speak with them.

“Dale.” Andrea snapped from the door of the RV. “Here, you’ll need this.” She stated, holding out the berretta she’d refused to take from Anderson just that morning. Anna stared at it for a moment, reaching out her shaky hand. _Should I really take this?_   “It’s okay.” Andrea whispered. Anna looked up into the reassuring, blue eyes of the woman.

Anna nodded, and accepted the gun, checking the safety before tucking it into her belt and following Daryl through the cars and into the forest.

 

“You got that look on your face.” Daryl started, as the two of them walked through the woods.

“What look?”  She asked, cocking a brow at him.

“Same look you’ve had since Sophia ran off.” He clarified, flashing his light in her face.

Anna scoffed, waving her hand at the flashlight.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she dismissed. And she didn’t. Anna was sure that she’d been carefully controlling her expressions, not wanting to take away from Carol’s grief – and now also Lori and Rick’s grief.

Daryl scoffed.  “Right. You haven’t been beatin’ yourself up this whole time for not goin’ after Sophia and blaming yourself for Carl gettin’ shot.”

Anna paused, staring at him.  She stuttered, trying to find the words to express her confusion. _How could he know? Was he listening to me and Anderson at the church?_

“I heard you and the kid last night – coachin’ him on how to get his parents to let him tag along.” Daryl went on. “You didn’t pull the trigger. And Sophia is gonna be fine.”

They started their walk again, Anna keeping just behind Daryl.

“You really think we’ll find her?”

“It ain’t the mountains of Tibet. It’s Georgia.” He said. “She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere. People get lost and they survive. It happens all the time.”

“She’s a terrified twelve-year old with no way to defend herself.” Anna countered, unable to keep her negative thoughts to herself all of a sudden.

“Hell, I was younger than her when I got lost. Nine days in the wood eating berries, wiping my ass with poison oak.”

“And your family? How did they find you?” Anna asked, thinking of such a small Daryl getting lost in the woods.

“My old man was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doing another stint in juvie. Didn’t even know I was gone.” Anna blanched at the notion before she realized Daryl had slowed his pace so that they were walking side by side. “I made my way back, though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear.” He continued. “Except my ass itched somethin’ awful.”

Anna burst into a fit of laughter, attempting to keep the giggles at a low volume in the dark. Daryl sighed before joining her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.”

After a moment of silence, Daryl went on, “Only difference is, Sophia’s got people lookin’ for her. I call that an advantage.”

Anna considered the notion before nodding her head.

 “I think I’d agree with you.” She stated, smiling.

 

As the pair continued their search, they came upon a small camp. At their approach, a rustling in a nearby tree started up, and the two looked for the source of the movement.

“What the hell?” The two caught sight of a walker dangling by a rope from the tree, its legs chewed to the bone.

            Daryl saw a note nailed to the tree and leaned forward to read “Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit.” The walker continued to swing its arms and growl for the meal just out of reach.

“Dumbass didn’t know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait. And a mess.”

Anna stared at the creature in front of them, the rancid scent filling her nostrils. She gagged audibly.

“You alright?”

She coughed.  “I’d say I’m trying not to puke, but there’s not enough of anything in my stomach to come up.” She groaned, straightening herself. “I’m fine.”

“You gotta eat.” He chided.  “That’s one thing us and these walkers got in common.” He continued, “I guess it’s the closest he’d been to food since he turned. Look at him, hangin’ up there like a big pinata. The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs.” He observed, pointing at the exposed femurs.

Anna gagged again, nothing but stomach acid coming up.

“Can we not?” she asked, swallowing the burning in her throat.

“Payback for laughing at my itchy ass.” Anna tried to glare at him, but a small grin pulled at her lips.

Daryl briefly smiled back before heading back the way they came.

“Let’s head back.”

“Wait!” Anna called, “You’re not gonna…, you know…end it…, I guess?” Anna looked at the monster in the tree, thinking of the walker woman still probably lying motionless on the forest floor by the stream.

“Nah, he ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Ain’t gonna waste an arrow either.”

Anna nodded slowly, she continued to look at the once man hanging by a noose. He’d…opted out. And this is what she would become if she didn’t aim for the head.

 

 

 

Daryl watched her step closer to the walker, taking in his face. He wondered what she was thinking before his mind wandered to the scene he’d walked in on back in the city.

 

_She had been visibly shaking when they gathered up the corpses of the Vato’s group after they had completely cleared the compound. She’d been shaking a lot, he noticed, ever since the CDC. And she shook now, with her hand on the gun at her hip._

_He stared at it, the smooth skin on the back of her hand, balanced atop the sleek black 9mm Beretta, and then his eyes flicked up to meet hers. He could just make out the gleaming tears in her eyes, even in the dim lighting. He hadn’t meant to say her name, but the sight of her red-faced and breathless had ripped her name from his throat. He remembered how she had chosen to stay in the CDC, just like Andrea, and he wondered what had changed her mind. Whatever it was, it didn’t seem to be enough to keep her from that choice much longer._

_“I…” she breathed heavily, her hand falling limp at her side and away from the handle of the gun. A tear dropped down her face, and then another, leaving tracks in the sweat and dirt and blood that covered her tan and freckled skin._

_She shook her head and pushed past him out of the bathroom. When he found her again, she was standing in front of Anderson, holding her gun out to him, her face carefully arranged into a neutral expression, but he could still see the streaks of clean skin the tears had left behind on her face._

_Their eyes met, and she stared back at him. He gave one nod to her as Anderson took the gun from her hands, and she turned away to find a place separate from the others, but still in sight._

 

Daryl strode up to her, needing to know.

“You want to live now or not?”  He asked. She didn’t look at him, but he could see the tension in her shoulders building. “It’s just a question.”  He wasn’t sure who it was he was trying to convince, or why he still felt the need to act like he didn’t care.

“An answer for an arrow.” She challenged, turning to look at him finally. Daryl nodded his consent, waiting for her to continue. Anna took a deep breath. “I want to find Sophia… I want to know that Carl is alive, that they’re both going to be okay… after that…I don’t know.” There were no tears in her eyes, but he could tell she was struggling to speak.  “But… not knowing—” she sighed, “that’s nothing new.”

Daryl clenched his jaw, realizing the implications. Opting out – that wasn’t a new idea for her, and he didn’t like the feeling that bloomed in the pit of his stomach.

“Not much of an answer.” He retorted, trying to hide his discomfort as he aimed and fired an arrow into the walker’s head. He turned on his heel to walk away.

“Or not the answer you wanted.” He heard her mutter as she followed him.


	7. Chapter Six

“Blessed be God, father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Hershel began, as everyone gathered around the pile of stones under the oak tree. “Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis.”

 “For his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child’s, now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace.” Hershel took a moment to breathe after his speech, as yet another rock was placed atop the pile.  He then turned to Shane. “Shane, will you speak for Otis?”

“I’m not good at it. I’m sorry.” Shane said, barely audible.

“You were the last one with him. You shared his final moments.” Patricia begged, “Please. I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning.”

“Okay….” He took a deep breath. “We were about done. Almost out of ammo – we were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen up.  ‘We’ve got to save the boy.’  See, that’s what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead.  ‘Run,’ he said. He said, ‘I’ll take the rear. I’ll cover you.’  And when I looked back…” Shane paused, seeing the pained look on Patricia’s face. He walked up to the wheel barrel that held the rocks everyone had collected earlier in the day. “I’d have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both.” He looked around at the group, took in their somber faces. “If any death ever had meaning,” he said softly, looking to Patricia, “it was his.” And with his final words, he placed a rock of his own.

Something felt off. Perhaps it was the way he spoke, or the way he looked around at the group, gauging their reactions to his words. But, she hadn’t known Shane long enough to say for sure. _If it’s true…if it weren’t for Otis,_ Anna thought, _Carl would be dead now._ The two had gone to retrieve a respirator from the FEMA station set up at the old high school. Shane was the only one to return, carrying the respirator and the dead man’s gun, which Rick had loaned him.

 

Anna wasn’t entirely focused on setting up the tent. Anderson had delegated tent setup to her while he stood with Rick, Shane, and Daryl to discuss search plans with Hershel and Maggie, the woman on the horse. Anna ached to go see how Carl was for herself, to see with her own eyes that he would live, but she couldn’t bring herself to face the weight of her actions, for helping him go out on the search in the first place.

Instead, Anna thought about the horses she spotted on the property. About the time she hit her teens, her parents had begun their journey into the horse world, purchasing a total of three horses and seven acres of land. She’d trained the first horse with her mother – a grueling bonding experience for all three participants. Her parents loved those horses – sometimes more than their own children; they didn’t exactly talk back. Needless to say, Anna knew her way around a horse barn.   The only areas she was lacking in were how to cinch up a saddle and hoof care.

 “Damn it.” She snapped, tossing the support sticks down.   They just refused to stay in position long enough for her to slide them into the spine of the tent.

“Having trouble?”  She looked up to see Glenn approach, a grin on his face.

“Don’t laugh at me, Rhee.” She grumbled, pushing the sticks in his direction, “Please, just help me.” She couldn’t keep from laughing as the pair tried and failed to put the tent together, bickering over the right way to do it.

“God, how do you not know how to put up a tent?” Glenn teased.  “Did your butler always do it for you?”

She knew he was joking, enjoying the back and forth banter between the two of them, but she paused to glare at the ground.

“Evan always put up the tent.” She whispered.

Glenn’s face fell instantly. 

“Anna, I didn’t mean—” the sound of Maggie approaching caused them both to clam up and look to her.

“I hear you’re fast on your feet and know how to get in and out.” She stated, looking him up and down. Glenn stared open mouthed at her, simultaneously confused by her words and clearly in awe.

_He’s smitten._ Anna thought, letting a grin slip onto her face.

“Got a pharmacy run. You in?” Maggie continued.

“Uh….” Glenn was dumbstruck, and Anna had to contain her giggles at his predicament.

Dale’s approach saved Glenn from his stuttering response. 

“Miss, what’s the water situation here?”

“Got five wells on our land. House draws directly from number one. Number-two well is right over there. We use it for the cattle. but it’s just as pure. Take what you need. There’s a cart and containers in the generator shed behind the house.” Maggie explained, pointing out each thing as she told them. Finally, she looked back to Glenn. “I’ll go saddle your horse, then.” She stated, walking off.

Glenn waited a moment before turning to Dale. 

“Horse?”

Finally, Anna let out a peel of laughter. 

“Don’t worry, buddy.” She said, standing and clapping him on the back, “all you have to do is stay upright.   The horse will do the rest.”

Dale left to find T-Dog and Glenn wandered off to help the others with more setup, while Anderson approached Anna, looking at the sorry excuse for progress that was their tent.

“You are terrible at camping.”

“Thanks.” She responded overly sweet. “So,” she started, leaning in as if discussing a conspiracy, “what’s the plan? When does another search party go out?”

Anderson briefly narrowed his eyes at Anna before kneeling down to start working on the tent. 

“Tomorrow – Daryl is going out on his own today.”

“Why alone? That’s stupid – someone should go with him.” She cast her eyes around for the man in question, hoping he’d allow her to tag along again.

“Not you.” Anderson asserted firmly.

Anna took a sharp inhale through her nose and refused to look back at him. 

“We are not getting into that, again.” She bit out. “Besides, I went with him last night and was perfectly fine.”

“Repeat that.” Just as Anderson stood, Daryl walked past. Anna perked up at the thought of still being able to join him. Before she could call out to Daryl, Anderson cut her off.

“Dixon.” His voice was heavy with ire. “You took Anna searching? At night?”

Daryl stopped in his tracks, narrowing his eyes at the man. 

“Yeah, so?”

The two glared at each other, Anna looking between them, unsure of what to say to ease the tension.

“Anderson, what is the problem? Daryl is perfectly capable of watching my back, and it’s not like I haven’t dealt with a walker alone before.” She winced when Anderson turned his hard gaze on her.

“Repeat that.” He stated again. “You dealt with a walker alone?” He was seething now, and Anna felt her heart pounding in her ears. “Did this happen while you were with _him_?”

“What’s it matter – she’s alright.” Daryl drawled, calling the attention back to him.

“What matters,” Anderson began, slowly turning back to Daryl, “is that you stay away from her.”

“Anderson!” Anna snapped, astonished. She couldn’t fathom why he was behaving like this, what was going through his mind.

“Whatever.” Anna’s heart dropped at how flippant Daryl seemed about the situation, turning on his heel and striding off as if none of the exchange mattered to him.

 

 

 

Daryl had put Anna in danger and Anderson could not have that. _How could he just let her face a walker on her own?_ He was fuming as he and Anna finished putting the tent together, and he could tell she was enraged. She took great pleasure in beating the stakes into the ground to keep the tent from blowing away.

“I’m doing this for you.” He tried.

"For me? Oh, bite me!”  She snapped. Anna looked as though she was ready to storm off, before she leveled him with a steady glare. “I am an adult, and I am capable of defending myself. You do not get to decide who I can and cannot be around – regardless of whatever ridiculous promise you made.”

Anderson stared back at her.

“I apologize for not wanting you around someone who lets you fight walkers alone.” He retorted.

“What the hell are you talking about? I wasn’t with Daryl. It happened when you and Evan left me alone at camp.”

“Is everything alright here?” The two of them snapped their attention to Shane, standing between them with his arms crossed over his chest.

Anna looked from Shane to Anderson and back, taking long slow breaths. 

“Yeah. Peachy.” And with that, she finally stormed off, headed in the direction of Dale and T-Dog. “I’m going to help Dale with the water.”

 

 

 

Daryl walked past the farmhouse, crossbow slung over his shoulder. He felt his irritation bubble up even more at the thought of Anderson accusing him of something he hadn’t done – letting Anna fight a walker alone? _I ain’t stupid._

With Anderson’s sudden change in behavior toward him, Daryl was starting to remember how little he belonged in this group. If Merle were still here, he’d at least have someone like him – Hell, if Merle was still here, they’d have been long gone by now. But, Merle was gone, and Daryl was alone.

“Daryl.”  He paused in his walk to see Rick walking towards him. _Officer friendly_. He thought to himself. _What does he want?_ “You okay on your own?”

Daryl felt himself bristle at the question. 

“I’m better on my own.” He sneered.  “I’ll be back before dark.” He said as he continued to walk off.

“Hey!” Rick called. “We got a base. We can get this search properly organized now.”

“You got a point or are we just chatting?” Daryl snapped, walking back to Rick a few paces.

“My point is it lets you off the hook.” Rick replied evenly. “You don’t owe us anything.”

Daryl turned away at that.  _Tired of people assuming shit ‘bout me._ “My other plans fell through.” He grumbled, walking off and ending the conversation.


	8. Chapter Seven

There was a walker in well two. It was bloated to the point that it almost looked like the Swamp Creature – minus the gillie suit.

“How long do you think it’s been down there?” Glenn asked as they all peered into the well.

“Long enough to grow gills.” Andrea responded.

Lori was the one to declare the obvious.  “We can’t leave it in there. God knows what it’s doing to the water.”

“We got to get it out.” Shane agreed.

“Get it out?” Anna questioned. “We should seal off the well – it’s been in there long enough that what ever it’s doing to the water is already done.”

Shane sighed.  “There’s a chance it hasn’t.” Anna looked at him, allowing her face to portray just how stupid she found him to be with that statement. “So, any ideas?” he asked, ignoring her.

“Easy, put a bullet in its head.” T-Dog offered.

“Whoa, whoa!” Maggie called, “Guys, no.”

“Why not? It’s a good plan.” Glenn assured.

“It’s a stupid plan.” Andrea stated. “If that thing hasn’t contaminated the water yet, blowing its brains out will finish the job.”

“She’s right.” Shane agreed, “Can’t risk it.”

“So, it has to come out alive?” T-Dog clarified.

“So to speak.”

 

The canned ham didn’t work; something about it not kicking and screaming and breathing. Which meant they needed live bait. There were only four people at the well that were small enough and light enough to be used. They weren’t about to use Maggie and get kicked off the farm, and they weren’t about to earn the wrath of Anderson or Rick by lowering in Anna or Lori. That left Glenn, and Anna was very vocal about it.

“I’ll go – screw what Anderson thinks.” Anna snapped, pacing back and forth like a wild animal.

Maggie stood off to the side.  “You people are crazy.”

“Why don’t you give us an eye there, Maggie.” Dale called as the others lined up to grab the rope tied around Glenn’s waist and legs. They then hooked it around the old rusty water pump.

“You gonna help?” Shane asked, looking to Anna.  “The decision’s been made.” They waited for Anna to get over the fact that they were willingly risking Glenn’s life when there was an easier and safer option.

“This is stupid.” Anna griped, stepping into the space behind Shane. “We should just seal the well – there are four more on the property.”

Everyone chose to ignore her in favor of lowering her friend into the well.

“You doin’ okay?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah!” Glenn called back.

_I hate this. It would have been more logical to just seal off the well – but nobody listens to me._ _Of course, they don’t._ Her thoughts were quickly getting away from her until she heard the groaning.

Her eyes shot to the old rusty water pump and her face went pale. It was shaking, struggling under Glenn’s weight.

_Oh God. Please don’t break, please don’t break. God, please don’t break._ And it broke.

She didn’t think; she released the rope and launched herself towards the well. She braced her feet along the edge and grabbed the rope with both hands, feeling it pull the skin on her palms. She lost her breath when she felt the others crowed in behind her, trying desperately to stop Glenn’s fall.

“Get me out of here!” Glenn screamed, and they pulled with all their combined strength until his head of black hair appeared above the rim of the well and he climbed the rest of the way out, falling to his knees.

Anna fell onto her back, releasing the rope and staring up into the blue sky. Her lungs ached, and she cursed how right they’d been not to send her. A breeze gently brushed over her heated skin, and she winced at the stinging on her palms.

She looked down and found that her palms were an angry shade of red, skin in some areas broken open and bleeding.

“Shit.” She grumbled, before she looked over to see if Glenn was alright.

The man in question was proudly handing over a rope to Dale, the tension on it indicating that he had succeeded.

 

Anna was now sitting at the kitchen table of the farmhouse in front of the older blonde woman of Hershel’s group, Patricia. Patricia, who had just lost her husband, Otis. Anna winced as Patricia applied ointment to her palms, to protect from infection she’d explained, and wrapped them in the last of the bandages they had.

Beth, Hershel’s youngest daughter, poked her head into the kitchen.

“That boy’s askin’ for you.” She said to Anna.

“He’s awake?”  She asked, turning awkwardly in her chair to look at Beth without taking her hands away from Patricia.

“Yeah, he heard you come in. His mom is with him now.” She clarified before disappearing upstairs. Anna sighed, casting her eyes to the ground as she turned back to Patricia.

“You’re the only one of your group that hasn’t gone to see him – except for the one with the crossbow.” Patricia spoke quietly as she tied off the bandages and sat back in her seat. She was sizing up Anna, taking in her haggard appearance. “I don’t know what’s kept you, and it isn’t any of my business,” she said, placing a warm hand on Anna’s knee and giving it a reassuring squeeze, “but you should go see him.” And with that, the woman rose and left the kitchen.

Anna leaned back in her chair, staring at her covered hands – almost like how a fighter would wrap their hands, she noted, without going around the fingers. Anna knew that Patricia was right. She couldn’t hide from her responsibility any more. She had to face Carl and his parents, for what she’d gotten him into.

Before Anna could lose her resolve, she quickly got up and crossed the hall to the bedroom that Carl was being kept in. He looked so small in the full-sized bed, and his skin was especially pale compared to the white sheets. His torso was exposed, revealing the bandage on his side.

“Hey kiddo.” She called from the doorway, her voice cracking with emotion. Carl looked up from his lap where his hands were entwined with his mothers. “How are you feeling?” she asked, walking fully into the room with a nod from Lori.

“Tired.” He replied, smiling up at her. She sat down at the foot of the bed, careful not to jostle him. He still looked weak, but he certainly looked like he was doing better. Anna made a mental note to hug Hershel later. “What happened to your hands?”

She looked down at the bandages before waving off his concerns.

“Lost a game of tug-o-war.” She joked. “But, hey – you’ve got my new high score to beat on the Gameboy.” She gently poked his leg, grinning wickedly at him. In truth, she hadn’t been able to look at the thing since she found out he’d been shot, but she was willing to tell a little white lie if it brought a challenging smile to his face.

The three sat and talked for a bit longer before Carl heaved a big, wincing yawn and Lori instructed him to sleep.  Anna bid them goodnight and strode out of the farmhouse, a weight lifted from her shoulders.

 

Outside, among the camp they’d set up not too far from the house, Anna looked around at her companions until her eyes found one in particular, a bit separated from the others. She cast about for anyone paying attention to her and set off to speak with Daryl.

“Hey.” She said softly when she got closer.

Daryl looked up at her from sharpening his knife at the entrance of his tent.

“Ain’t your boyfriend lookin’ for you?” he asked, turning back to his work.

“Who? Anderson? No. No way.” She shook her head.  “He’s nice lookin’ but, not for me.” She gave a sigh and crouched down in front of him. “I wanted to apologize for the way he behaved though – it wasn’t fair to you.”

“Don’t matter.” He muttered, focusing on his knife.  “He doesn’t want you around me, I suggest you get goin’.”  When Anna didn’t move, he looked up at her, noticing her hands for the first time.      

“What happened there?” She could see him wince at his own question.

She looked down, angling her hands so he could see them better in the distant firelight.

“Lost at tug-o-war.” She explained, giving him a small teasing smile.

“You sayin’ you were a part of that mess with the well?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her. “Should’ve just sealed it off and been done with it.”

“That’s what I said!”  She exclaimed, gesturing back to the camp. “But, no one listens to little old Anna!”

He smirked at her.  “It’s late.”  he started, “Anderson’s probably lookin’ for you.”

Anna sighed, content with having brought a smile to his face, and rose to leave.

“Goodnight.” She whispered.


	9. Chapter Eight

_Day 15 after the global outbreak; 55 days before Hershel’s farm…,_

 

Anna, Anderson and Evan sat around the kitchen bar eating a meager dinner of the last of Anderson’s cereal. His one-bedroom apartment had felt cramped in the two weeks the three had been barricaded within, and they had ample time to get to know each other.

The two men had been surprised when Anna showed her knowledge of guns, citing her parents’ background in the army and their devotion to the Second Amendment.

“So…” Anna began through the mouthful of Cheerios, breaking through the silence they’d fallen into. “We’re leaving tomorrow?”

Evan nodded, his face unusually grim as he finished off his own bowl of food.

“Anderson and I were talking last night.”

“Uh-oh.” She muttered, letting a small smirk slip onto her face.

Evan smiled briefly at her before continuing. 

“We don’t know if we’ll be able to get to the safe zone.”

“Optimistic.” Anna stated, dropping her spoon into her bowl before walking it over to the sink, along with Evan’s and Anderson’s to put them aside – she wished she could wash them, but the water had shut off two days ago.

“It’s a possibility.” Anderson said. “With so many people heading to the safe zone, we could very easily be turned away – or worse, there is no safe zone.”

“Very optimistic.” Anna sighed.  “So, what do we do if that happens?”  She turned back to them, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest.

Evan scratched the back of his neck.  “We go to South Carolina.” Anna cocked a brow at him. “Get you to your family.”

“And you to yours.” She agreed, nodding at Evan. She didn’t miss the look Anderson gave Evan, who simply gave Anna a toothy grin.

“I…” Anna paused, rubbing her eyes.  “You guys can go ahead to the safe zone.” She whispered through her fingers. The two men looked at her, astonishment on Evan’s face. “I don’t want to go to the safe zone. I have to find my family first.”

“Wait.” Anderson said, holding his hand up.

“No, we should talk about this. Anna, we aren’t going to just leave you to travel 355 miles by yourself.” Evan cut in, his voice harder than normal.

Anna shook her head.  “You guys don’t owe me anything. You’ve already done so much for me. I’ll be fine – if I have a map.”

Evan opened his mouth to respond when Anderson snapped, “Shut up.” The two stared at him. He wasn’t looking at them, though. Rather, he was looking at the emergency radio on the coffee table. The emergency radio that had been on constantly for fourteen days. It was now emitting nothing but static.

 

They decided that staying in the apartment for another night would not be safe. Anderson was quick in getting his hiking gear together, Anna packed what they had left of food and a first aid kit into her satchel, and Evan moved the furniture out of the way.

The three gathered at the door. Anna took a deep breath and glanced between her companions. Evan caught her eye and gave her a reassuring smile. Anderson, when he noticed her looking between them, turned fully to her.

“Stay close, don’t call attention to yourself.” He stated, stepping to the door. Just before pulling it open, he turned back to them, leveling them both with a steely gaze. 

“Don’t be a hero.”

And with that, they left the safety of the apartment. The hallway was empty aside from one person at the end of the hallway, seeming dazed as he stared at the wall. Anderson pulled the gun from his belt and loaded it. They didn’t say a word as they chose to go in the opposite direction. Everything seemed calm enough until they hit the street.

Anna’s eyes were wide in shock as she took in the scene in front of her. Soldiers and civilians facing off against the undead… and losing. When she saw that Evan and Anderson had already moved on, she wiped the tears from her face and ran after them.

 

She had to pace herself as she tried to keep up with the long-legged men that were her only hope of getting out of the city alive. The sky was an ink black, lit up by cinders and stars. She squinted past the gun smoke in her eyes, but she was glad that it was hard to see – she didn’t want to know why there was screaming all around her. She focused solely on Evan’s back, resisting the urge to grab hold of his bag, just so that she didn’t fall too far behind.

Her stomach churned at the sudden onslaught of an odor she couldn’t quite place. She turned, meeting the dead eyes of a corpse. She screamed and took a few steps back as she scrambled for her knife.

The sound of gun fire cracked through the air and black blood spattered across her face. She watched as the corpse fell at her feet.

“You need to get out of here!”  She lifted her head numbly, wide-eyed as she stared at the soldier standing over her. His face was dirty, and he was bleeding. “Did you hear me? You need to move!”  He wrapped one hand around her upper arm and shoved her forward. “Are you alone?”  He shouted over the gunfire.

Anna finally looked at her surroundings and saw that she was indeed alone. Her heart was in her throat as she looked back to the soldier and nodded. The tears streaked down her face now, leaving tracks in the ash that had stuck to her skin. The fires were blazing around them.

The soldier nodded once. 

“I’m Jonah Hernandez. You need to stick close to me, I’ll get you out of here.”

_Hernandez… is he the same soldier from the airport?_ She thought, nodding and following him as he made his way down an alley.

 

Any opposition they faced on their way out of the city was quickly neutralized by Jonah and his military issued AR-15. He continuously glanced over his shoulder to ensure that she was still following, and she certainly appreciated his consideration.

They finally made it into a small clearing between the city, a small wooded area that was separated from the highway.

“Anna!” Anna turned to find Evan and Anderson running towards them.

“Stop right there!” Jonah shouted, aiming his gun at the two approaching men. “Do you know these two?”  He asked quietly.

“They’re my friends.” She asserted, stepping around him.

Evan scooped her up into a hug and she responded in kind, giving a meaningful look to Anderson over his shoulder. Anderson simply nodded.

“I’m so sorry – I was so scared we lost you.” Anna felt like she could finally breathe as Evan released her, turning to Jonah. “Thank you for helping her.” And then his eyes fell to the blood on his uniform. “You’re hurt.”

Jonah nodded, lowering his weapon as Anderson approached, gun still in hand. “I was bitten.” He stated. The three stared at him. “You don’t know what happens when you get bit, do you?” he asked. “Have you guys been hiding in a hole the entire time?”

“Essentially.” Anderson responded. “What happens?”

“It’s how the infection spreads.” Jonah said. “Bitten, scratched; you get sick, you die, you come back.”

“What about a cure?” Anna asked, taking a step towards him.

“There is no cure. We lost contact with the CDC, we lost contact with everyone.” Jonah sat down in the grass. “I’ve got no idea what’s going on.”

Anna wiped at her eyes as helicopters zoomed past overhead.

“But, the army – they’re still mobilizing.” She whispered.

“All I know is…”  He trailed off, wincing as he moved his arm.   “All I know is, we’ve lost the city.”

It started with a whistle as they dropped their payload, followed by an ongoing tremor beneath their feet and a rumble of what sounded like thunder. And maybe it was a storm, Anna thought as she watched the plums of smoke and fire and ash rise up amongst the towering skyscrapers. A fire storm falling over the city as the undead brought them to their knees. This was it. They’d lost.

 “You guys need to get out of here.” Anna looked to Jonah, still leaning back in the grass. “They’ll be over us soon enough.” He explained.

Evan and Anderson approached as Jonah’s breathing became shallow. “You’ll come with us – we’ll take you to the safe zone.” Evan assured.

Jonah shook his head, a bitter smile on his haggard face. “Don’t you get it? There is no safe zone. It’s all over.” As he finished speaking Jonah’s eyes landed on Anderson. “You got bullets in that thing?” he asked. Anderson nodded slowly. “I need you to shoot me.”

“What?” Anna gasped.

Jonah nodded. “I don’t want to become one of those things. Please, I’d do it myself, but I don’t have any ammo left.”

Anderson stepped forward, pulling back the slide. “You can’t be serious?” Anna asked, stepping in his way. “This is insane.”

“This is reality.” Jonah snapped weakly. “And you better get used to it.”

Stone-faced, Anderson gently pushed Anna aside. Evan took hold of her shoulders and turned her away from the scene just as Anderson leveled the gun at Jonah’s head. Anna began to shake in Evan’s hands, staring horrified at her friend, tears streaming down her face.

“You can’t!” she pleaded, trying desperately to pull away from him and stop Anderson.

She froze at the single gun-shot echoing through the air, fading into the cacophony of the explosions in the city.


	10. Chapter Nine

Anna yawned and stretched as she sat up in her sleeping bag, grimacing at the successive pops of her back. She’d been sleeping on the hard ground for nearly two months. She thought she’d be used to it by now.

She glanced around the empty tent, Anderson’s sleeping bag on the opposite side vacant, and noted how bright it was. _Anderson must have already gone to the search meeting._

Running her tongue along her teeth, she scratched her scalp and pulled at the knots in her hair. She desperately needed a shower. _I’ll ask Maggie if I can use hers,_ she thought briefly.

Her eyes suddenly widened.

“The search meeting!”  She gasped, throwing off her sleeping bag. She flung herself from the tent and pulled her boots on, hopping on one foot and then the next as she ran to the group gathered around a map on the hood of the Cherokee.

“No maybe about it. I’m gonna borrow a horse.” She heard Daryl say as she finally arrived.

“I’ll go with you!” she said, panting from her laborious movement. The others looked at her, eyebrows raised. “What? I want to learn how to track.” She said, brushing off their odd looks.

“Uh… right.”

“You forget somethin’?” Shane asked, looking her up and down.

Anna paled, and took stock of her attire. The heat of the previous night had forced her to remove her shirt and sleep in just her jeans and black sports bra. Evidently, she’d forgotten to put her shirt back on in her rush.

“Apparently.” She muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and ignoring the blush rising to her cheeks. “Please, continue with the plan.”

“Uh… I’ll… head up to this ridge right here.” Daryl started again, keeping his eyes as far from Anna as possible as he pointed out the ridge on the map. “Take a bird’s-eye view of the whole grid. If she’s up there, I’ll spot her.”

“Good idea.” T-Dog agreed. “Maybe you’ll see your Chupacabra up there too.” He teased.

“Chupacabra?” Rick asked. Anna was just as confused, looking to Daryl for explanation.

“What, you never heard this?” Dale asked. “First night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a Chupacabra.”

The young boy, Jimmy, from Hershel’s group laughed.

“What are you braying at, Jackass?” Daryl snapped.

“So,” Rick began, incredulous and drawing Daryl’s attention to him, “you believe in a blood-sucking dog?”

Daryl scoffed.  “Do you believe dead people walking around?”

Anna stifled her laughter at the back and forth until Jimmy reached for the rifle set on the hood of the car.

“Hey, hey.” Rick started, taking the gun from his hands. “Ever fire one before?”

“Well, if I’m going out, I want one.” He stated.

“Yeah, and people in hell want Slurpee’s.” Daryl chided, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder and sauntering off.

Anna went to follow, but she was cut off by Anderson stepping into her path.

“Where’s your shirt?” he asked, keeping his eyes carefully trained on her face.

She shrugged in response.

“Probably in the tent. I’ll go get it.” Anna went to walk around him when he gently placed his hand on her upper arm.

“We need to talk.”

“You’re not going to stop me from going out, Anderson – not today.” She hissed, yanking her arm from his grasp a little too forcefully. She stormed over to the tent to fetch her shirt.

Anderson sighed from behind her.

“I’m not trying to stop you. I’m asking if you’ll come with me, instead.”

 

They wandered through their grid of the forest in tense silence, nailing yellow rags to trees to mark their perimeter. Anderson was the first to speak.

“Anna,” he began slowly, “do you really think that getting...close to someone is a good idea right now?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” He said as he stepped over a fallen tree.

“Refresh my memory.” Anna snapped.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Daryl.”

“And your point is?”  She sighed heavily, already irritated with the way the conversation was going.

“Just that you need to be careful. The world is falling apart around us. Maybe there’s other things you should be worried about.”

“Like what? Life can’t be only about survival.” Not that life was anything but survival. _So, I want to make friends while we’re all stuck at the end of the world._ She thought bitterly.

“Even if we weren’t in the middle of an apocalypse, you’re—” He stopped, turning away in exasperation.

“I’m what?” Anna glowered at Anderson, daring him to continue.

“You’re not mentally well. If you want me to say it aloud, I will.”

Anna guffawed at his assertion.

“I haven’t been “mentally well” for a while, Anderson - you learn to live with it.” she leaned against a tree, narrowing her eyes at him

“Have you?” He asked, leveling a heated stare at her. “I don’t think you have.”

Anna clenched her jaw.

“You add another person into the mix, and it gets even worse.” He continued.

“What do you know? Despite it being none of your damn business, there’s nothing going on between me and Daryl.”

“Just, for your own sake, be careful.” He sighed. “Let’s keep going.”

She glared at Anderson's back as she followed him through the trees, going over the conversation in her head until she’d riled herself up even more. She wondered how Daryl was doing. If he was doing any better than her at the moment.


	11. Chapter Ten

Daryl was not doing well. He climbed out of the shallow pond, holding the arrow sticking out of his side, groaning when he finally made it to shore. Without ceremony, he stripped the sleeves off of his shirt and tied them together. He wrapped them around his torso to keep the arrow from moving around too much.

He looked at the incline, sizing it up. It would be long climb, but he had no other options. He grabbed a long stick from the ground and checked its sturdiness – it would help brace him as he climbed the several feet of rock and dirt.

A rustling in the bushes and trees caught his attention, and he reached for his crossbow. His hands met nothing, however, and his heart jumped. He turned every which way, searching for his weapon. And then he remembered. He’d dropped it in the pond.

Nothing came of the rustling, giving him time to drag the water for his crossbow. He realized with aggravation that he only had one arrow left – it just so happened to be the one sticking through his side.

With his crossbow in hand, he began his climb, panting as he carefully found one foothold and then the next, until he’d made it halfway up the cliffs edge. He tested his weight on a branch protruding from the side of the cliff, gauging whether or not he could swing from one to another that was close by on his left.

As he stretched his body to leap over, his foot slipped. A cry ripped past his lips as he lost his grip on the branch, his crossbow slipping from his grasp. Daryl felt the air rush past him as he fell backwards. For a moment, he felt like he was flying. He hit the side of the incline, rolling the rest of the way in a painful tumble of limbs. His crossbow clattered to the ground beside him, and then there was nothing but searing pain as his head connected with the ground.

 

When he opened his eyes again, the world was a blur of color. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision, a pounding in his head. A figure came into view, and Daryl squinted, trying to make out who – or what – it was.

“Why don’t you pull that arrow out, dummy?” He recognized that voice. The lazy, guttural drawl. “You could bind your wound better.”

Daryl smiled. 

“Merle.”

He heard Merle hum in laughter. “What’s going on here? You takin’ a siesta or something?”

“Having a shitty day, bro.”  He explained. He hated how weak and tired his voice sounded.

“Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?” Merle teased.

“Screw you.”

“Huh-uh. You’re the one screwed from the looks of it.” Merle’s face tightened, his jaw jutting out. “All them years I spent trying to make a man of you. This is what I get? Look at you. Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You’re gonna die out here, little brother. And for what?”

“A girl.” Daryl swallowed painfully. “They lost a little girl.”

“So, you got a thing for little girls now?”

“Shut up.” Daryl snapped.

“‘Cause I noticed you ain’t out lookin’ for old Merle no more.”

“Tried like hell to find you, bro.”

“Like hell you did. You split, man. Lit out first chance you got.”

“You lit out. All you had to do was wait. We went back for you. Rick and I, we did right by you.” Daryl said more firmly.

“This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand? This him we’re talking about here? You his bitch now?”

“I ain’t nobody’s bitch.”

“You’re a joke is what you are. Playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers, and Democrats. You’re nothing but a freak to them. Redneck trash. That’s all you are. They’re laughing at you behind your back. You know that, don’t you? I got a little news for you, son. One of these days they gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit.”

Merle leaned in close, his face inches from Daryl’s. “’ Specially that little brunette you been eyein’.” Daryl flinched away from him. “Yeah, I seen the way you been lookin’ at her. You wanna take her in your arms and sway softly to music that ain’t there.” Merle sneered.

“You sound stupid.”

 “They ain’t your kin, your blood. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you’d go back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me.” Merle grabbed hold of Daryl’s face. “Now, you listen to me. Ain’t nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. You hear me? They don’t care about you. Anna? She don’t either.” He barked a laugh.

“Shut up.” Daryl grimaced

 “It’ll never happen, little brother. Tellin’ you, none of em’ care. Ain’t nobody ever will. Come on, get up on your feet before I have to kick your teeth in.” Merle stood and began tugging on Daryl’s boots. “Let’s go. Come on.”

Daryl’s vision slowly cleared, his brother coming into focus. But it wasn’t his brother. A walker was stupidly chewing on his boot, unable to break past the steel toe. Daryl felt panic rise in his chest, and he kicked hard at the walker’s face, scooting back as far as he could before the walker rose to attack again.

He grabbed for something-anything-to defend himself with, and his hand connected with a long, straight stick. Daryl swung, knocking the walker back to the ground. He wasted no time; he jumped on top of the walker and began to beat its head in with the long side of the stick. A growl came from his left. and he turned to see another walker closing in. Daryl fell back and grabbed for the only arrow he had. He could feel the fletching as they folded over themselves to squeeze through his body. He gritted his teeth, the pain almost unbearable as he pulled the arrow out in one piece. With just enough time, he pulled back his crossbow with great effort and launched an arrow into the walker’s head as it came upon him. It fell to the ground with a hard thump.

Daryl took 30 seconds to himself. To breathe, to feel the pain he was in. And then he shut himself down. First on the agenda was to eat, get his strength up. Not enough time to start a fire. He ate the squirrel he’d bothered to kill earlier raw. He removed his shirt completely and folded it to make padding for his wound; this left him with nothing but his undershirt to cover his torso.

Once fed and better bandaged, he braced himself against the side of the cliff, looking up at his next task. Without much more thought, he made his way up.

“Please, don’t feed the birds.” Daryl groaned as Merle looked at him over the edge. “What’s the matter Darylina? That all you got in you?” Merle laughed, “Throw away that purse and climb.”

Daryl braced himself on a protruding branch.

“I liked it better when you were missing.”

 “Come on, don’t be like that. I’m on your side.”

“Yeah? Since when?” Daryl scoffed.

 “Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass.” Merle replied, seeming almost offended.

“You never took care of me. You talk a big game, but you were never there. Hell, you ain’t here now. Guess some things never change.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what, I’m as real as your Chupacabra.”

“I know what I saw.” He shouted, glaring up at his brother.

 “Yeah, and I’m sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right?”

 “You best shut the hell up!” Daryl was almost to the top, and he was ready to clock his brother in the jaw.

 “Or what? You’re gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me? Well, come on and do it then. If you think your man enough.”

_God damn it._ Daryl thought. _I wish he’d just shut the hell up._

“Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son.” Merle chuckled. “You know what? If I were you, I’d take a pause for the cause, brother. ‘Cause I just don’t think you gonna make it to the top.” Merle crouched, one hand on his knee and the other held out. “Come on, come on, little brother. Grab your friend, Rick’s, hand.”

Daryl reached out his hand, searching for anything to grab hold of that wasn’t his brothers’ hand. He knew Merle wasn’t really there, that it was all in his head. He dug his fingers into the dirt and tangled roots of the forest floor and heaved himself up with a shout of pain and triumph. He reached behind and touched the doll that was tucked in his belt. Still there. They were that much closer to finding Sophia.

He’d made it to the top. Standing, completely exhausted, Daryl looked at his surroundings. Merle was nowhere in sight. And neither was that damn horse.

“Guess I’m walkin’ back.” He grumbled.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Anna squinted past the sun as she peered out the window of the Winnebago for the tenth time. Every search group had returned except Daryl, and she was starting to get worried. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Anderson and grimaced. _I can make friends with whoever I want,_ she thought.

“Hey Anna.” She looked up, pulling away from the window, to see Glenn entering the RV, a book in his hand.

“You finished it?”  She asked, reaching out for the novel.

Glenn nodded, handing it over.

“It’s pretty terrible.”

"We don’t exactly have many options these days.” Anna shrugged, flipping through the pages briefly before setting the book aside.

“Yeah… in a lot of things.” Glenn sighed heavily.

Anna cocked a brow at him, propping her head up on her hand. 

“What’s wrong?”  She asked, analyzing his gloomy face.

Glenn opened his mouth to explain when the RV dipped slightly as someone – Dale – entered. The elder man looked between the two of them.

“Sorry, just giving Anna your book. She asked to read it next.” Glenn stated, gesturing to the item in question.

Dale strode over and glanced at the title.

“Oh no, I’m sorry.” He continued on to the back room. “Had I known the world was ending I would have brought better books.” Anna and Glenn shared a small laugh.

“So, Rhee,” Anna began, “tell me what’s troubling you.” She put on a horrible German accent, hoping to pull another smile from her friend.

He rolled his eyes and took a breath.

“Are you on your period?”

Anna choked back her astonishment.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m only asking because it seems like all the other women are acting really weird.” Anna stared back at him as he continued, seeming to get more nervous. “And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”

Dale stepped up beside Anna to level Glenn with an incredulous look.

“I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.” Dale said, holding a hand out. Anna nodded in agreement. “Who else is acting weird?” Dale asked.

Glenn paused, sitting back in his seat.

“Uh… Maggie.”

“How is Maggie acting weird?” Anna asked.

“She started off being mean to me. Then she wanted to have sex with me. And now, she’s being mean to me again.” He blurted out. “And I don’t even want to know what’s going on with Lori.”

“What's going on with Lori?” Dale asked, furrowing his brow at the young man.

“Nothing. I don't know.” Anna narrowed her eyes at Glenn, seeing right through him – and she didn’t doubt Dale did, too.

“Alright, let’s take this back a step,” Dale began, easing off, “how do you know that Maggie wanted to have sex with you?” Glenn bit his tongue, trying and failing to hold back a shit-eating grin. “Oh, son, you didn’t.” Glenn’s smile dropped, confused. “Did it ever occur to you how her father might feel about this?”

“She’s 22.” He tried.

Anna shook her head. “I have to agree with Dale on this one, buddy – but, I mean, good job, she’s hot.”

“Don’t encourage him.” Dale chided Anna before turning his attention back to Glenn. “He is our host.”

Glenn cast his eyes to the ground.  “He doesn’t know.”

“Well, see that it stays that way.” Dale advised. “Jesus, Glenn, what were you thinking?”

Glenn paused, before leveling Dale with a hard stare.

“I was thinking that I might be dead tomorrow.” He rose from his seat and started walking towards the door. “Thanks for the book. You’re right, it sucks.” And he left Anna and Dale alone.

Dale sighed.  “I can’t believe he would be so reckless.” He shook his head.

“Can you blame him? Yesterday we deliberately lowered him into a well with a walker.” She gave Dale a meaningful look as she got up to follow after Glenn. “But, you’re right, maybe Maggie wasn’t the best idea.”

She saw Glenn walking off towards his tent, and she jogged to catch up. “Glenn!” she called. He paused and turned back to her as she clapped him on the shoulder. “You alright?”

“Not really – first Lori, then Maggie!”  He griped, shaking his head.

“What about Lori?” Anna asked, gently squeezing his arm. “What’s going on?”

He looked around to see if anyone was nearby and stepped close to her, to be sure she was the only one who could hear him. “I think Lori’s pregnant.” He whispered.

Anna gaped at him. “How— are you sure?”

“Walker!” Andrea called from the top of the RV. The two of them whipped around, searching for the threat. There in the distance, at the tree line, was a solitary figure.

“Just the one?” Rick asked as he jogged up to get a better look.

“I bet I can nail it from here.” Andrea said, bringing the gun up.

“No!” Rick shouted. “No, Andrea. Put the gun down.”

“You’d best let us handle this.” Shane said, storming past Anna and Glenn with a baseball bat in hand.

“Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers.”

“What for, man? We got it covered.” He replied, continuing on.

“Christ.” Rick groaned, running to grab his weapon.

Anna took a deep breath and started running along side Glenn.

“Anna, no. Let them handle this.” Anderson called from the porch, too far to physically stop her. She ignored him, pulling the hunting knife from its holster on her hip, where she insisted it remained.

All she heard was her hard breathing in her ears as she pushed her legs forward, falling a bit behind the others as they ran through the field. As they approached, Rick raised his gun, pointing it at the creature’s head. Anna’s heart jumped into her throat.

“No.” she choked passed the burning in her lungs. She couldn’t breathe, for more reasons than just her asthma.

The five of them stopped, staring at what was in front of them.

“Is that Daryl?” Glenn asked.

Anna could feel the tears stinging at her eyelids and her breath leave her as Rick lowered his gun.

“That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head.” Daryl said. “You gonna pull the trigger or what?” Anna felt like she would collapse as he spoke. She never thought she’d be so happy to hear that snarky mouth.

And then a gun shot rang through the air and all Anna could see was Daryl hit the ground.


	13. Chapter Twelve

“No!” Rick screamed. Anna was frozen as Rick and Shane dropped down to check on the man on the ground. She couldn’t move as the others swarmed around him, Shane and Rick supporting the man covered in mud and sweat and blood. She simply stared at him as he spoke, proving to her that he was alive.

“I was just kidding.”

Rick and Shane carried him past her, and she just stared at the tree line, at the ground where he’d fallen. _What if he hadn’t gotten back up?_

“Oh my God! Oh my God, is he dead?” The sound of Andrea’s voice brought her back to her senses, and she felt rage roiling in the pit of her stomach. She turned on her heel, stowing the hunting knife in its holster.

Andrea watched   as the men carried Daryl towards the farmhouse.

“Oh my God.” Andrea put her hands on her head, her face guilt ridden. But Anna didn’t think much on that as she approached her. She placed her hand on Andrea’s shoulder, calling her attention. The blonde woman turned, “I thought he was a walker.” She tried to explain.

Anna didn’t hear her. Andrea shrunk away as she took in the expression on Anna’s face.

Anna pulled her right hand back, curled her fingers and swung. There was a crack as Anna’s knuckles connected with Andrea’s nose.

Bright red blood poured down Andrea’s face as Anna stepped back, staring at what she’d done, the woman crumpled to the ground holding her face, trying to stop the bleeding. Beneath the flowing blood, Anna could see that the woman’s nose was crooked, and bruising was already forming around where she had felt the crunch beneath her fingers.

“I think you broke my nose!” Andrea yelped, looking up at Anna.

“Have Patricia take a look it.” Anna said flatly, stepping around the bleeding woman to catch up to the others.

 

           

 

Andrea sat alone on the back porch, trying to ignore the throbbing in her face. She’d done as Anna said and went to see Patricia. Anna had in fact broken her nose. _All because I shot Daryl._ She sighed heavily. _I shot Daryl… I could’ve killed him,_ she thought bitterly.

The sound of the back door swinging open pulled her out of her thoughts. It was Dale coming to check on her.

“How’s he doing?”

“He'll be fine.” Dale began, sitting down beside her on the steps. “What about you?”

Andrea sighed again, wincing in pain. 

“I shot Daryl.” _I deserve a broken nose – and worse._

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.” Dale soothed.  “We’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl.”

Andrea laughed lightly, only to grimace again – she’d never had a broken nose before.

“Anna’s pissed at me.”

Dale glanced at her, analyzing her profile. “I think she’s infatuated with him.”

“Me too.”

 

 

 

Anna paced on the front porch while Anderson leaned against one of the pillars. Glenn sat nearby, his eyes wide.

“You punched Andrea?”  He asked for the eleventh time. “In the face—you broke her nose?”  He was trying to make sense of what Anna had told him once she had arrived at the house to join the others.

She’d been fuming. Anderson understood that anything he said would only serve to enrage Anna further, so he remained silent while she ranted. When the men had returned with Daryl hanging limp between Shane and Rick, he’d felt panic rise in his chest. _What about Anna_? He’d thought the worst when he didn’t see her with them.

And then Anna blew past him, desperation written across her face, and Andrea close behind with blood pouring from her nose.

Anna was lying to herself about how she felt about Daryl, Anderson decided. Not just simply denying it to others. And, it was clear she was slowly coming to the realization as she paced, becoming quieter and quieter with each turn.

“Anna.” Anderson began, seeing his opportunity to finally talk some sense into her. “You should apologize to Andrea.” Anna paused briefly. “She was only trying to protect the group.”

Anna scoffed.  “She was trying to prove something. She doesn’t even have training.”

“Not yet. But, can you blame her for being eager?”

Anna gave a small glare. 

“Being too eager can get people killed.”  She countered.

“But, did you need to break her nose?” Glenn asked cautiously.

Anna looked to him, silent for a moment.

“That’s fair.” She said.

“So, you admit you over-reacted? Any idea why?” Anderson asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Anna groaned. 

“What’s with the third-degree?” Anderson just leveled her with a steely gaze, waiting for her to answer. She finally stopped pacing, meeting his gaze with her own challenging glare. as if daring him to say something more. To say aloud what she was clearly not ready to admit yet.

Glenn was the one to break the silence and effectively deflate Anna.

“Do you like Daryl?”

 

Anna sat staring at her plate of food. Carol, Lori and Patricia had made everyone a wonderful meal to thank Hershel for all of the help he’d provided the group since they had arrived at the farm. Now, they were all gathered in an awkward silence.

She had been squeezed between Glenn and Maggie – clearly intended to keep them apart – at the kids’ table. Glenn decided he couldn’t take it anymore and turned to face the grown-up table.

“Does anyone know how to play guitar? Dale found a cool one at the highway.” No one answered, so he pushed. “Come on. Somebody’s gotta know how to play.”

After a beat, Patricia answered.

“Otis did.”

“Yes. And he was very good, too.” Hershel said, touching her hand as silence fell over the room again.

“Um…” Anna began, wiping her hands on her jeans, “my brother taught me to play _Dust in The Wind_. I think I remember how to play it.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Glenn said, looking back to her.

“Yeah, he—” she cut herself off. Did she really want to start thinking about her family? “He was four years older than me.” Everyone noticed her use of the word _was_ and collectively seemed to decide not to push it. But, the damage had been done. “Excuse me.” She muttered. “I think I’ll take some dinner to Carl and Daryl.” She said, rising from her seat.

"I’ll help you.” Carol stated. Anna wasn’t up to arguing. She continued on to the kitchen to fetch a couple of plates for their wounded companions. Like Carl, Daryl had been given a bed to recover in.

As they readied trays of food, Anna’s thoughts wandered to her family.

 “What were they like?” Carol asked, breaking the silence between them.

Anna startled and looked to the older woman.

“I don’t know if I want to remember.” She whispered, turning back to her task. “It…hurts too much.”

“It’s important.” Carol asserted. “Remembering them as they were. It can help. What were they like?”

Anna didn’t say anything for a long moment as she thought about her family. “I look like my mom.” She started finally. “Dark hair, tan skin. She was loud, too.” She could see Carol smiling from the corner of her eye. “My brother took after her as well.”

“What were their names?”  She asked.

Anna took a few seconds to keep her breathing even before she spoke.

“Diana, Joseph, and Jessie.”


	14. Chapter Thirteen

The next day, Carl was allowed out of bed, and Daryl had insisted he return to his tent. So, there he lay, poking holes in the screen that served as a window. There wasn’t much for him to do, laid up as he was with no company. Not that he wanted any. Or maybe he did.   He wasn’t sure.

That was answered for him as Andrea entered his tent.

“Hey.” She said, taking a seat on the opposite end of the small shelter. She handed him a book titled _The Case of The Missing Man_. “This is not that great, but….” She sighed.

Daryl flipped through the book.

“What, no pictures?”  He teased.

“I’m so sorry.” She blurted out. “I feel like shit.”

“You look like shit. What happened to your nose?”  He asked, scratching his own. The bridge of her nose was a deep purple.

“Your girlfriend broke it.” She groaned, touching the tip of her nose lightly. “Anna’s got a mean right hook.”

“She ain’t my girlfriend.” He snapped.

Andrea leveled him with a look he couldn’t quite read.

“Look. I don’t expect you to forgive me but, if there’s anything I can do…”

Daryl cut her off. “You were trying to protect the group. We’re good.” Andrea nodded, satisfied with the encounter, and she rose to leave. “But, hey.” Daryl called, “Shoot me again, and you’d best pray I’m dead.”

Andrea grinned at him. “I thought Anna was going to kill me before. I think I’ll avoid shooting you all together.” And with that, she left him alone again.

Daryl considered what Andrea had said about Anna, how she’d reacted to his getting shot. He remembered what Merle – or his hallucination, rather – had said.

_“Now, you listen to me. Ain’t nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. You hear me? They don’t care about you. Anna? She don’t either.”_ Maybe Merle was wrong. Regardless, he didn’t know what to do about that.

 

 

 

Anna was waiting a few paces from Daryl’s tent for Andrea to leave. She’d wanted to apologize to the woman for breaking her nose. She could admit that the action was perhaps uncalled for. She’d just been so angry. So… she wasn’t quite sure yet, and it was driving her crazy.

The previous day, when Glenn had asked her if she liked Daryl, she couldn’t and didn’t answer. What was she supposed to say? It had seemed so juvenile to her that she would have a crush on Daryl that, even when Anderson had brought it up, she brushed off his concerns. Up until the moment she had realized it was him in that field covered in blood and grime, she thought the feelings she’d been experiencing were only friendly in nature. But, when she saw that it was him, thought she had lost him, she felt empty. Like a part of her was missing. And she hated that feeling.

Andrea left the tent, a smirk on her face, apparently satisfied with whatever conversation had transpired. Anna took a deep breath, steadying herself to confront Andrea, steeling herself to apologize. She stepped into Andrea’s path, cutting her off from the rest of the camp. The two women stared at each other. Before Anna could open her mouth, Andrea spoke.

“You here to hit me again for talking to your boyfriend?”

Anna took in the bruise along Andrea’s nose and winced.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”  She muttered. “I’m here to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Andrea scoffed. “You broke my nose! And for what?”  She snapped. Anna grimaced, trying to remain calm while Andrea continued. “I was trying to protect the camp.”

“Maybe you should learn to use a gun before you try to be a hero.” Anna exclaimed, forgetting her attempt at calmness altogether.

Andrea huffed a laugh. “I don’t have to listen to this. I apologized to Daryl and he forgave me. I don’t need you to.” Andrea shoved her way past Anna, sauntering off. But Anna wasn’t done.

“And what happens the next time you try to prove yourself?” Andrea didn’t even look back, and that was fine; Anna didn’t care to hear any more excuses from the older woman. Anna admitted that what she did was wrong and tried to apologize. Whether Andrea accepted the apology or not didn’t matter. Her conscience was clear.

Anna heaved a sigh and looked to Daryl’s tent. She took a few steps towards it, then turned on her heel and walked back a few paces. _I should go see how he’s doing,_ she thought. _But, maybe he doesn’t want to see me._ _But, he’s your friend, and friends check on each other._ The back in forth in her mind left Anna unsure of what to do.  

Eventually, her pacing brought her closer to Daryl’s tent. She tapped her foot nervously and chewed her bottom lip. To calm her nerves, she pinched her thigh. She smiled wryly to herself as she thought about how one couldn’t simply knock on the flap of a tent. Was she just supposed to say _knock, knock_ and wait for a _who’s there_?

“You gonna stand out there all day?” Anna jumped, not expecting Daryl to have noticed her standing awkwardly outside his tent for the past three minutes.

Ignoring the heat rising in her face, she made her way into the tent to see Daryl lying on his sleeping bag, poking holes in his tent.

“Why are guys so destructive?”

“Did you come here to nag or give me well-wishes?”  He griped sarcastically.

“I can do both.”  She grinned, sitting down beside him. “Thought we lost you back there.”  She said, pulling her knees up to her chest and avoiding looking at him.

“No worse for wear.” He shrugged off her concern.

 “Don’t go making a habit out of it.” She chided.

He grunted in reply. “Don’t go makin’ a habit of breakin’ peoples’ noses.”

Anna sighed.

“That may have been slightly uncalled for.”  She admitted, running her hands over her face to cover the blush rising in her cheeks. “I was angry. She could have killed you, you know.”

“Someone needs anger management classes.”

She scowled.

“Or someone needs a greater sense of self-preservation. Why didn’t you take someone with you?”

“You were the only that offered.”  He explained tucking his right hand behind his head. “And what’s-his-face wouldn’t let you go.”

"Anderson means well. He can just be kind of…”

“Stupid?”

“Overprotective.” Anna corrected. Daryl examined his arrow, twirling it between his fingers, and Anna took this opportunity to inspect his face. He was rough. He wasn’t conventionally attractive, but there was a certain quality – something she couldn’t quite put her finger on – that she found she rather liked.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” She averted her gaze, running her hands back and forth along her thighs. Out of his view, Anna pinched her right thigh to calm herself.

“I’m glad you’re doing better.” She whispered, shaking her head.

Anna went to stand so that she could leave him be, figuring he wanted to be left alone, when he called out.

“Hey.” She looked back to him, wondering if he needed her to bring him anything. “Could use the company.” He muttered, shrugging as he looked anywhere but at her.

She grinned and nodded, taking up her position beside him. They sat in silence, and Anna picked at a loose piece of thread in her jeans, trying to think of something to talk about. Suddenly, she had an idea.

“Do you think you’d want to go watch gun training?”

“I guess it’s better than sittin’ here. Gettin’ restless.”

“Okay, then. Let’s get you out of here.” She stood and reached out to help him.

He swatted her hand away. “I got it.” He immediately groaned as he tried to sit up. “See. Don’t need any help.” His breathing was a little labored, and Anna was starting to second guess their decision to leave.

“Maybe we should wait until you’re a little stronger.” She suggested.

“You callin’ me a pussy?” He snapped. Anna frowned at him, realizing that Daryl was not about to let anyone stop him from getting up and around now that the idea was in his head.

“Just be careful.” She said. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she grimaced at how much like Anderson she sounded.

Once Daryl managed to get to his feet, the pair made their way to the vehicles just as the others were loading up, Daryl slightly limping.

“Daryl. Are you sure you should be coming along?” Rick asked, seeing the two approach. Anna’s hands were hovering at Daryl’s back, clearly afraid of him keeling over.

Daryl nodded.

“I’m good. Just gonna sit and watch. No different than sittin’ in the tent. ‘Cept fresh air. Andrea’s not goin’ is she?”

“Andrea’s going.”

“Hope I don’t get shot again.” He muttered. There were a few chuckles and a few coughs meant to stifle laughter as the group continued to climb into their respective vehicles. Anna and Daryl slid into the backseat of Carol’s Cherokee with Carl, Rick, and Lori in the front seats.

 

The sun shone in full force over the group. Daryl and Anna were sitting in the back of the Cherokee, Anna’s legs dangling beside his, as the others practiced under the supervision of Rick, Shane, T-Dog, and Anderson. Anna watched as Rick paced up and down the line, conversing and instructing here and there. She couldn’t believe it had only been nine days since she’d met this group from the quarry, when it felt like a lifetime ago that Daryl had found her in the woods, about to become dinner for her friend. In that time, it hadn’t escaped Anna’s noticed that the group had started turning more and more towards Rick for leadership, rather than Shane. How that would play out, she could only guess.

“Okay,” she began, turning back to Daryl, “my turn to ask a question.”  She sized Daryl up, trying to think of a question that she hadn’t already asked since they had started playing Twenty Questions. She was down to her last three questions, and she wanted to make them count. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to be your father.”

Anna guffawed. “You can’t seriously be... fifty-one.”

“Okay, maybe not that old.” Daryl sighed. “Jesus, did he have you at like 40? What are you, twelve?”

Anna put her hand over her heart at the offence, only beginning to understand why the comment hurt her feelings. His face softened at her expression.

“I was just jokin’. I’m thirty-four.”  He finally said. She couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her, the relief she felt that he didn’t see her as a kid. “Okay, my turn. Why aren’t you up there learning to shoot?”

Anna shrugged, looking over to Andrea at the end of the line, standing smug as she stared at wherever she had fired off this time.

“I already know how to shoot a gun and-”

“There’s always more to learn.” Anderson cut in, causing Anna to scoot an inch away from Daryl as he approached them. “Go on, let’s see what you can do.”  He said, handing her a silver gun she’d never held before. She accepted it cautiously, feeling the weight in her hands. It was much heavier than the 9mm she was used to handling. She checked the safety before giving Anderson a questioning look. “You need to know how to use any gun you come across - not just your Beretta.”

She slid off the back of Carol’s Cherokee and made her way to the fence. In the distance was a row of cans and bottles of different sizes and colors.

Anna started by sliding the clip from the grip, checking to see how many bullets she had. Five. She slid the clip back into place and pulled back the slide, loading the weapon. She raised the gun, leveling the sights, and flipped the safety off with her thumb. She took a deep breath - in and out. She squeezed the trigger; the kick back was more than she was used to, her hands flying upwards as her single shot fired, the bullet going wide and disappearing into the tree line.

“Damn it.”  She seethed, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. She pulled the slide back and leveled the sights again, this time prepared for what was to come. She braced herself and squeezed the trigger. Her second shot hit the top of a tall glass bottle, the third the bottom of a can. Her fourth shot landed square in the middle of a tin, knocking it off the post it rested on. She had one more shot. This one had to count to make up for the first one. One more breath. She spotted her target and fired.

The bird that had been sitting beneath a tree just behind the firing range fell to the ground in a spray of blood and feathers. Her heart clenched, a switch flipping in her head, turning her back on. She hadn’t realized she’d shut down. Anna lowered the gun, staring at the feathers flittering down.

No tears slipped down her face. Not like the first time she had killed an animal. Or when she had first killed a walker. It was just a fact of life. The world had changed, and so had she. She knew one thing unequivocally; she was not done changing. Not until even that slight pain in her chest was gone.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

After the gun range, everyone except Shane and Andrea returned to the farm. Daryl retreated into his tent to get some rest. Anna on the other hand, decided she needed a shower.

“Hey, Maggie?” she asked, calling the attention of the much taller brunette. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”

Maggie nodded.  

“Go right ahead – you know where it is?” Anna assured her that she did, and they stared at each other for a moment in silence.

“So…” Anna began, pursing her lips. “Glenn’s a nice guy.”

“Are we gonna start gossiping like teenage girls now?” Maggie snapped. Anna’s face flushed, and Maggie shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off so harsh.”

Anna sighed.

“It’s okay, it’s just…he’s my friend, and I don’t want to see him get hurt.” Maggie cast her eyes to the ground and Anna shrugged. “I think I’ll go take that shower now.” She took a fast pace away from the conversation, feeling like she’d overstepped some sort of boundary.

Once she made it to the safety of the bathroom, she stripped out of her clothes and jumped under the water, though it was not yet hot. She cleansed herself of all the dirt and sweat she’d accumulated throughout the day, scrubbing hard at her skin.

She winced as she ran the washcloth over her right thigh. She glanced down, seeing the red marks on her skin from where she’d pinched herself. One mark in particular had broken skin and left a bead of dry blood. Anna grimaced at the sight. She needed to cut her nails. _And my hair for that matter_ , she thought, considering the length of it running down her back. _It’s far too long for the apocalypse._

After her shower, she dried off and pulled on her clothes and boots, then made her way to the RV in search of some scissors to use on her hair. She was immediately taken back by how neat and organized the RV looked.

“I guess it should be easy to find some scissors now.” She muttered, picking her way to the pantry.

“What do you need scissors for?” Anna jumped at the sound of Carol’s voice. She hadn’t noticed her before.

“I, uh, I need to cut my hair.” Anna explained, her hand landing on a pair of metal sheers.

Carol nodded. 

“Here, let me help you. Sit down.” Anna smiled, handing the sheers over and taking a seat on the floor as Carol positioned herself on the bench. “How short do you want it?”

Anna gestured to her shoulder, and Carol set to work. The sounds of the sheers closing around her hair sent a shiver down her spine as Carol combed her fingers through her damp tresses. They talked about the weather, and the dinner the previous night. Anna avoided any mention of Sophia.

“Why the sudden desire to cut your hair?” Carol asked.

Anna shrugged lightly in response, trying not to jostle Carols hands.

“Just seemed too long for these days”

Carol made a final snip before setting the sheers aside.

“You have such pretty hair. Would you…never mind.”

“No, go ahead.” Anna pushed, looking over her shoulder. The woman averted her eyes.

“Well…would you mind if I played with it for a little while?” Carol whispered.

Anna smiled and grabbed Carol’s hand.

“Of course, you can.” They sat there for the better part of an hour, Carol just running her fingers through Anna’s now shoulder length hair, braiding it along her scalp and talking about this and that. It reminded her of the times her mother played with her hair. Growing up, sitting on the floor of their living room watching some random show on television while she cooed over how long and thick her hair was.

During a lull in the conversation, they heard a car pull up.

“That must be Shane and Andrea!” Carol exclaimed, jumping out of her seat and around Anna to exit the RV.

Anna rose as well, excited to hear what news they’d brought with them. She looked out of the window above the sink as she heard Shane.

“Not today.”

“I’m so sorry. We’ll cover more ground tomorrow.” Andrea assured. She and Carol began walking side by side toward the house, Carol’s shoulders slumped.

Anna sighed, sitting down on the bench and staring down at the dark hair still lying in a pile at her feet. She vaguely heard Dale ask what happened, and Shane explained that the housing development the two had gone to check had been overrun. _It’s like chasing a ghost,_ she thought, shaking her head. Anna hated to admit it, but she was starting to lose hope in ever finding Sophia.

“Shane.” Dale called. “Shane.” Anna stood, peeking out the window once again. “I was thinking, you’ve got that nice new ride of yours, plenty of fuel.” Dale began. “More than enough for you to get far from here.” Anna’s interest was piqued. She listened hard as Shane responded.

“What, you tellin’ me to leave?”

“I know you’ve been planning to. Maybe now is a good time.”

Shane scoffed. “Is this about Andrea?”

Anna cocked her head to the side. _Why would it be about Andrea?_

“I’m looking out for the group.” Dale said evenly.

“You think the group would be better off without me, Dale? Why don’t you tell that to Rick or Lori? Their boy would be dead if I hadn’t put my ass on the line.”

“And Otis’s. You’ve been vague about that night, about what happened.”

“Otis died a hero.”

“So you’ve said.”

“A little boy lived because of what went down that night. I think you ought to show some gratitude.”

“I wasn’t there.”

“No, man, you weren’t.”

“But, I was the time that you raised your gun on Rick. You had him in your sights. And you held him there.” There was silence. She couldn’t make out what Shane responded with before walking away.

Once she was sure Shane was gone, Anna stepped into the doorway of the Winnebago

“Dale?” she called quietly. He turned to her, his face pale. Whatever Shane said had obviously scared him. “Are you okay?”

 

She managed to pull the information from Dale. It was far more difficult than it needed to be, but he seemed to realize she wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled the beans. Anna couldn’t quite believe what he told her, and she had no idea what to do with it, either.

“Why haven’t you told Rick?”

Dale shook his head.

“How am I supposed to tell him his best friend is a danger to the group?” He raised his hands as if in surrender. “Now, you have to promise me, Anna, that you won’t say anything. To anyone – not even Anderson.”

Anna scoffed.  “You can’t be serious – if what you say is true, we have to tell Rick.”

“Anna!” Dale snapped, resting his hands on both of her shoulders. “Promise me. I don’t want you getting involved. It—it’s too dangerous.” He stuttered. Anna could see the fear and concern in his wide eyes as he stared at her, silently pleading for her to understand.

“It’s a little late for that, Dale.” Anna whispered. Dale sighed, backing away from her and rubbing his face with his hands. “But,” she began, “I promise I won’t say anything.” She took a deep breath. “Just… I hope you know what you’re doing.”

 

That evening, the group gathered around the fire and shared the pheasant that Anna had killed at gun training. It was just big enough for everyone to get a small portion, putting the group in high spirits. Even Daryl gave her praise for the clean shot. But, Anna couldn’t eat. She stared at her plate and pushed the food around.

“What’s wrong?” Anna startled, looking over to Anderson, who was sitting beside her. He hadn’t called the attention of the others, which she was grateful for.

“I’m just worried.” She sighed, giving a fleeting glance to Dale. He was in the middle of regaling the group with a story of his youth, keeping their attention. “About Sophia.” She wanted to keep going. To tell Anderson what she’d overheard today and what Dale had told her. But, she’d made a promise, and she intended to keep it. For now. For now, she would allow Dale to keep his secrets. For now, they would all remain blissfully unaware of the danger that was right under their noses.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

“Okay Rhee, you better tell me what’s got you acting so weird.” Anna began, staring down her friend. He was seated on a tree stump used to cut wood, watching everyone gathering around the campfire for breakfast. She may have only known him for ten days, but that was long enough to tell that Glenn was hiding something. “You’ve been acting weird since the dinner. What’s going on?”

Glenn shushed her, scanning the group for anyone paying attention to them. He sighed.

“I’ve been talking to Dale.”

Anna paled.

“Yeah?” She didn’t think Dale would share the information with Glenn. Dale had been so adamant that she not talk about what occurred between him and Shane.

Glenn dropped his head, groaning.

“I have to tell the group.”

Anna’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?”  She asked, casting a glance over her shoulder. “Maybe we should only tell Rick.”

“No.” Glenn said, looking up. His eyes landed on something in the distance, and Anna turned to see Maggie standing on the front porch, shaking her head no. “I have to tell everyone. All at once.”

Carol walked around the group, passing out scrambled eggs, eventually offering some to Glenn and Anna. They both declined; Glenn must have had knots in his stomach, too.    He rose from his spot and went to stand where everyone would see and hear him. Anna watched him nervously rub his face.

“Good morning.” Anderson greeted, breaking the tension Anna felt. Anderson quickly saw the nerves playing across Anna’s face and furrowed his brow. “What’s wrong?”

“Um, guys.” Glenn called, gaining everyone’s divided attention. “So…” he began nervously. Anna bit her lip. _Why tell everyone? Why not just Rick?_ She asked herself, staring at her friend. “The barn is full of walkers.”

She inhaled sharply. That was not what she was expecting to come out of Glenn Rhee’s mouth. No one said anything.   They simply stared in a mix of astonishment and fear as his words sunk in.

 

They all stood in front of the old barn, Shane inspecting the locks and boards of the door. It seemed secure enough to Anna, but what did she know about keeping walkers in a barn that looked older than dirt?  _How many are in there?_ She wondered.

“You cannot tell me you’re alright with this.” Shane seethed, storming past Rick after something – a walker – peeked through the crack between the doors.

“No, I’m not, but we’re guests here. This isn’t our land.”

“This is our lives!” Shane shouted.

“Lower your voice.” Glenn snapped.

“I have to agree with Shane” Anderson sighed. Anna didn’t know what she thought about the situation. Rick was right-this wasn’t their decision- but so was Shane. Staying so close to this barn put them all at risk. But, they couldn’t leave. Not with Lori being pregnant. Not with Sophia still missing.

“We can’t just sweep this under the rug.” Andrea agreed.

T-Dog nodded along. 

“It ain’t right. Not remotely.”

 

“Okay, we’ve either got to go in there, we’ve got to make things right, or we’ve just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time.” Shane said.

“We can’t go.”

“Why, Rick? Why?” Shane was getting on Anna’s nerves with how confrontational he was being. It suddenly dawned on her that he had no idea that Lori was pregnant – and if what Dale had told her was true, that Lori and Shane had been together before Rick returned, Anna figured it was a good thing he didn’t know.

Carol piped up, stepping forward to remind them all how they had wound up at the farm in the first place. 

“Because my daughter is still out there.”

Shane sighed.  “Okay. Okay, I think it’s time that we all start to just consider the other possibility.”

“We’re not leaving Sophia behind.” Anna snapped, glaring daggers at the burly man. She’d fight him tooth and nail to continue the search for that little girl.

Evidently, so would Daryl.

“I’m close to finding this girl.” He shouted, pointing a finger at Shane. “I just found her damn doll two days ago, and I almost died getting’ it.”

“You found her doll, Daryl. That’s what you did. You found a doll.” Shane sneered, talking down to Daryl as if he were a child. Anna brushed off the anger that bubbled inside her at his condescension.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” 

“I’m just saying what needs to be said. You get a good lead, it’s in the first 48 hours.” Anna knew he was right – it didn’t make hearing it aloud any easier.

“Shane, stop.” Anderson warned, stepping forward, his face neutral. He was clearly trying to defuse the situation, but Shane was not having it.

“Let me tell you something else, man.” He started, walking towards Daryl. “If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and Geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction.” A scuffle ensued. Daryl charged Shane, shouting incoherently as dust flew around them. Shane shouted back, and Rick put himself between them, pushing Shane back.

Anna jumped in front of Daryl, blocking his path to Shane, and put her hands on his chest.

“Daryl, stop.” She hissed, shoving him as hard as she could away from Shane.

“Back off!” Rick hollered over the commotion. Anna could see over her shoulder as Shane stormed away a few paces. “Now, let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out.” He pleaded.

“What are you gonna figure out?” Shane snapped back. He was like a rabid animal.

Anna felt hands wrap around her wrists, squeezing them gently. She looked back to see Daryl staring at her. He gave her one nod and she dropped her hands away from him. She hadn’t realized how close they were, and she tried her best to ignore the churn in her stomach, instead focusing on Rick and Shane.

“If we’re gonna stay, if we’re gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land.” Rick explained.

Dale cut in then. “Hershel sees those things in there as people – sick people. His wife, his stepson.”

“You knew?” Rick asked, incredulous. That was one thing Dale had neglected to tell Anna, and she didn’t blame him.

“Yesterday.” Dale nodded. “I talked to Hershel.”

“And you waited the night?” Shane asked, accusation dripping from his words.

“I thought we could survive one more night.” Dale declared. “We did.” He turned his attention back to Rick. “I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one.”

“The man is crazy, Rick. If Hershel thinks those things are alive or—no!” Shane screamed. Rick tried to calm his friend, but there was no getting through to Shane. He’d made up his mind.

The raised voices had finally reached the barn as chains rattled and the walkers within began growling audibly. The group’s argument had excited the monsters in the barn, making them push desperately at the doors trying to get out.

_What do we do?_


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Anna dangled her feet over the side of the Winnebago, staring out at the tree line, her back to the barn. She was trying to keep it out of her mind, trusting Rick to figure something out with Hershel, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other things to worry about.

 _One thing at a time, she_ thought.

            Glenn had gone to fetch a glass of water for Dale, who had subsequently exited the RV with the bag of guns.

“What are you up to?” Anna asked, eyeing the bag.

            Dale looked around him, checking to see if anyone was nearby. Anna did the same.

“I don’t trust Shane.”

            “You and me both – but why are you taking the guns?” She had the rifle slung over her shoulder, having taken over for Glenn on watch while he ran his errand.

            “Do you really think Shane is going to listen to Rick on this?”

Anna didn’t even have to think about it before nodding her agreement.

“I’ll need mine and Anderson’s guns. We’re going out searching in a little bit.”

Dale gave her a sad smile as he dug her Beretta and Anderson’s .45 out. He went back into the RV.  Moments later, the door shut behind him, and he frowned up at her.

“What are you going to do if Shane asks anything?”

Anna smirked.

“Don’t worry about that, buddy – I’m better at keeping secrets than Glenn.” She winked, and Dale gave a soft chuckle before heading off. She watched his retreating back all the way up to the tree line where he disappeared altogether.

Glenn reappeared a while later, climbing to the top of the RV.

“Where did Dale go?”

Anna shrugged, looking around the camp for the man in question. She met Glenn’s eyes. “I don’t know. Must have wandered off.”

“Anna!”  She turned her torso to see Anderson striding up to the RV. “You ready to go out? Rick and Andrea are going over the plan.” Anna jumped up, quickly making her way down the ladder and jogging over to Anderson.

“I’ll just grab our guns and meet you over at the cars.” She said, not wanting anyone else to know that the rest of the guns were gone. She made quick work of snatching them up from the counter, then caught up with Anderson.

They walked in silence as they made their way to Rick and Andrea, until Anna couldn’t quite take it anymore.

“What do you think should be done about the barn?” She had tried as much as she could to keep the barn out of her mind, but she had to know where Anderson stood on the issue.

“I trust Rick’s decision.” He began. Anna felt a weight lift from her shoulders, a weight she hadn’t realized was there. “He’s right, this isn’t our land. If we want to stay we need to remain on Hershel’s good side. If that means putting up with that barn, then fine. It’s secure enough. But, we need to be prepared in the event those walkers get out.”

Anna had to agree with him – for the first time in a while, she noted. As for being prepared, her mind went to Dale making his way deep into the woods.

“And you?” Anderson asked, cutting through her thoughts.

Anna shrugged. 

“Not worth the bullets.”

           

Anna, Rick, Anderson, and Andrea bent over the map, Rick pointing out the creek bed where Daryl had found the doll.

“This cuts out search grid in half.”

“Thank God.” Andrea muttered. Anna nodded her agreement. With search grid in half, they had less ground to cover and a better chance at finding Sophia.

“It also shows she could be moving this way South. If Sophia kept in that direction, she might have gotten out of the forest and into the farmland.” Rick explained. “So, Andrea and I can take 74 up to Ivy road. Then, we’ll push down South on foot through the forest till we hit Christopher, go East a couple of miles, and then double back.”

“Where do you want us?” Anderson asked. He didn’t get his answer though, because Hershel called out.

“Rick.”

“Hershel.” Rick greeted, everyone turning to look at the approaching man. “We just have our guns out because we’re gonna go look for Sophia.” He explained. Anna double checked her safety before tucking her gun into the waist band of her pants, kept secure by her belt.

“Before you do that, I could use your help with something.”

“Count me in.” Andrea said, obviously eager to show her capabilities. Anna rolled her eyes.

“Thank you, but I just need Rick.” Hershel said, keeping his eyes trained on Rick.

Andrea sighed. 

“I’ll be down at the barn keeping watch until you’re ready.” She stated, grabbing her gun and sauntering off. Anna turned back to the map as Rick and Hershel walked off.

 _Where would Dale hide the guns?_ She asked herself, scanning the small x’s that marked the areas they searched. There was one spot not too far off, but still outside the grid. It looked to be an area with a lot of small ponds close together – probably a swamp – that seemed like the best option.

“Thinking about Sophia?” She jumped, looking over at Anderson. She had nearly forgotten he was there. “We’ll find her.” He assured, rolling up the map. “I can feel it.”

Anna gave a half-hearted smile.

“You’re starting to sound like Evan.”

Anderson heaved a sigh, setting the map aside. “How are you feeling?”

“Since when did you become my therapist?” Anna groaned, unwilling to answer his question.

"I noticed you cut your hair.” He observed, ignoring her irritation. “It looks nice.” She could hear the silent question in his voice. _Why?_

“Just seemed appropriate. Considering.” She shrugged. “Short hair is harder to grab.” She pulled at the end of her hair, tugging gently and checking the length. Carol had done a good job in keeping it even.

Anderson nodded. “I was impressed with your shot yesterday.” Anna raised her brows at him.

“Are you, Tyler Anderson, giving me a compliment?”  She teased, brushing aside the warm feeling she got in the pit of her stomach.

“Don’t ruin it.” Anna didn’t miss the small smirk he shot at her, and it pulled a smile from her. She liked this. Talking with Anderson – actually talking.

“I’m going to go see how Glenn is doing on watch – see if he needs anything.”

She walked away from Anderson with a smile on her face. As she approached the Winnebago, Shane stepped in her way.

“What about you? Have you seen Dale?”

Anna’s heart jumped in her throat. She dropped her right hand down to her thigh and pinched hard. _Don’t be intimidated_ , she reminded herself.

“Haven’t seen him all day. Why?”  She said evenly. She could feel Glenn’s eyes on her, but she ignored him, training her face to remain confused as she met Shane’s dark gaze.

He stared her down, as if he knew she was lying. She squeezed harder, feeling her nails tear through the fabric of her jeans.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Glenn broke the silent war raging between Anna and Shane. She knew Shane was dangerous before. She could feel it. Now, staring into his dark, angry eyes, she knew just how much of threat he was.

“Oh, he’s fine.” Shane seethed, not breaking his stare on Anna.

“Why’d he bail then?”

“So you wouldn’t tell me which way he went.”

Anna took a slow breath.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” Shane hissed, pushing past her. The second she could no longer hear the stomp of his boots, she let out a heavy breath, releasing her thigh.

“Why did you lie?” Glenn asked.

Anna squinted past the sun to look at Glenn, who was standing on the RV wearing Dale’s hat.

“Because I trust Dale.”


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Dale hiked the gun bag higher over his shoulder. The damn thing was too heavy for a trek through the woods. He was grateful for Anna agreeing to let him take off with the guns. There was something in her eyes, something that just said _I’m trusting you_ that reinforced his resolve.

He’d grabbed a large black trash bag – something to protect the guns from the elements until everything calmed down at the farm. It wasn’t his intention to hide these guns forever – that would be ridiculous. Only until Shane had calmed down and Rick had convinced Hershel to let them clear out the barn.

Of course, he knew that if Hershel had as much conviction as he seemed, he’d never change his mind on the matter. Not unless forced. And that was what he was afraid of.

“Man, this is a good hiding place.” Dale felt disappointment rush through him – had Anna betrayed him? No, Shane must have gotten the information out of her somehow. “We ain’t been in the swamps much, huh?”

“Imagine if you applied your tracking skills to finding Sophia.”

“How about you just give those back, huh?” Shane said, making his way through the brush to Dale. Dale ignored him, shimmying the bag of guns into the trash bag.

“I’m not gonna do that.” He stated firmly.

“Yeah you are, Dale.” Shane declared, looping his thumbs through his front belt loops. “Unless, well…you do have that rifle over your shoulder.”

“You gonna shoot me like you did Otis? Tell another story?”

Shane scoffed.

“No, man. Hell, when you really look at it in the cold light of day, you’re pretty much dead already.” Dale said nothing, meeting Shane’s gaze with defiance. “Just give me the guns. Do it now.”

“You think this is gonna keep us safe?”

Shane hummed in affirmation. “I know it is.”

“Rick is trying to get Hershel—”

“Dale, just shut up and give me the guns.”

Dale set the bag down and pulled the rifle off his shoulder. He loaded it and pointed the gun at Shane’s chest.

“Am I gonna have to shoot you? Do I have to kill you?”  He asked, unsure if he was asking Shane or himself. “Is that what it’s gonna take?”

Shane took a step forward and Dale a step back, raising the rifle. Shane stared at him, sizing him up. Dale knew exactly what Shane saw when he walked the rest of the way forward, pressing the rifle into his own chest. “Yeah” He said softly. “That’s what it’s gonna take.”

 

 

 

Anna leaned against the wall of the house, standing on the porch, hitting the A button on the Gameboy as she fired shot after shot in the game. She chanced a glance at her surroundings and smiled at what she saw. Carl playing checkers with Patricia, Beth looking over the board, and Glenn and Maggie sitting on the steps together talking. Anderson sipped water while he looked out over the horizon.

“Do you know what’s going on?” She looked up, the tell-tale sound of her losing coming from the Gameboy.

T-Dog and Andrea approached the house.

“Where is everyone?” Andrea asked.

“You haven’t seen Rick?” Glenn asked.

“He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago.” Andrea explained as she and T-Dog stopped a few paces away from Glenn.

“Yeah you were.” Daryl chided, strolling up beside Carol. “What the hell?”

“Rick told us he was going out.”

“Damn it.” Daryl cursed. “Isn’t anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail.” Daryl gestured back to the woods.

“Just calm down.” Anderson sighed, leaning forward to set his glass on the floor. “There’s Shane.” Everyone looked over to see Shane walking up. Anna blanched. He had the bag of guns.

“Where’s Dale?” Anna asked, slowly setting the Gameboy down.

“I’ll deal with you later.” Shane snapped, pointing a finger at Anna.

“What’s all this?” Daryl asked, drawing Shane’s attention away from her, for which she was grateful – if only for a moment.

“You with me, man?” Shane asked, holding out a shotgun to Daryl.

“Yeah.” Daryl took the gun and loaded it.

“Time to grow up.” Shane declared. “You already got yours?” He asked, looking to Andrea and passing a hand-gun to T-Dog.

“Where’s Dale?” Andrea asked, repeating Anna’s question.

“Thought we couldn’t carry.” T-Dog wondered.

Shane continued to pass the guns around.

 “We can, and we have to.” He stood before the group. “Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain’t.”

“That’s enough Shane.” Anderson stated, rising from his chair and striding over to stand on Anna’s right side.

Shane ignored him, turning to Glenn. “How about you man? You gonna protect yours?” Glenn looked unsure towards Maggie before he accepted the shot-gun. “Can you shoot?” he asked, looking to Maggie.

“Can you stop?” Maggie shot back. “You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight.”

“We have to stay, Shane.” Carl declared, taking a step down the stairs.

“What is this?” Lori asked, walking quickly into the picture.

“We ain’t going anywhere, okay? Now look, Hershel, he’s just gotta understand. Okay? He—well, he’s gonna have to.”

Anna’s hand dropped down to the gun tucked into the waist band of her jeans, twitching around the handle. A thousand scenarios played through her head at once and she felt panic fill her body.

_What do I do?_

“Don’t do anything.” Anderson whispered, resting his hand on hers, effectively stopping her from drawing her gun. She looked to Anderson, taking deep breaths. She dropped her hand lower, this time pinching her thigh.

“We need to find Sophia, am I right?” Shane asked, kneeling in front of Carl and presenting him with a small revolver. “Now, I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes.  You know how. Go on, take the gun and dot it.”

Carl stared at the offered gun before Lori jumped in front of her son and pushed him behind her.

“Rick said no guns. This is not your call.” She seethed. “This is not your decision to make.” The two stared at each other.

“Oh shit.” T-Dog called. Everyone tore their attention away from Shane and Lori and looked to the tree line to see Rick, Jimmy and Hershel leading two walkers towards the barn.

Shane took off, the group following – some to join him in his investigation, others to stop him. Anna was a part of the latter. She had no idea what Shane would do, armed and crazed as he was.

“What the hell are you doing?” Shane shouted.

“Shane, just back off.” Rick said.

“Why do your people have guns?” Hershel demanded.

“Are you kidding me?” Shane asked, incredulous as the walkers swung for the food walking around them just out of reach. “You see? You see what they’re holding onto?” Shane asked, pointing at the creatures as he stormed back over to the group.

“I see who I’m holding onto.” Hershel corrected.

“No, man, you don’t.” Shane snapped.

“Shane,” Rick pleaded. “Just let us do this and then we can talk.

“What you want to talk about, Rick?” Shane asked, circling them. Daryl had his gun trained on the walker nearest him, and Anna felt her heart in her throat. “These things ain’t sick. They’re not people. They’re dead. Ain’t gonna feel nothing for them. ‘Cause all they do, they kill.”

Anna stared at the scene before her, unsure of what to think of it. Rick, the man she trusted to lead them to safety, holding a monster at bay while Shane bellowed and screamed at him and Hershel, trying to talk sense into them. Remind them what these things did.

“They’re the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They’re gonna kill all of us.”

“Shane, shut up!” Rick screamed.

“Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something.” The sudden calmness of Shane’s voice set off alarm bells in Anna. The walkers in the barn, the walkers in front of her, they didn’t scare Anna the way this man did.

“Could a living, breathing person,” Shane began as he pulled out his side arm. “Could they walk away from this?”

“No!”

One, two, three shots fired into the torso of the female walker Hershel was holding. “That’s three rounds in the chest. Could someone who’s alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?” he fired again. “That’s its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?” And again.

“Shane, enough.” Rick shouted.

“Yeah, you’re right, man.” He sneered, walking up to the walker. “That is enough.” His last shot went through the head. The walker fell to the ground, and Hershel fell to his knees beside it.

Everyone stared at Hershel – even Andrea looked as though she thought Shane had gone too far.

“Enough risking our lives for a little girl who’s gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough! Rick, it ain’t like it was before!”

Anna put her hands behind her head, trying to control her struggling breath. She hated to admit it, even to herself – but Shane was right.

“Now if ya’ll want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I’m talking about fighting right here, right now! He ran for the barn. Anna felt her legs move, carrying her forward. She couldn’t hear anything, but she felt Anderson’s hands wrapping around her, pulling her to him. She kicked out, trying desperately to get free. She couldn’t let Shane open those doors.

But he did.

The walkers trickled through the open barn doors. Andrea was the first to join him in shooting them down. Then Daryl and T-Dog, then Glenn.

“I’m sorry, Anna.” Anderson whispered in her ear before tossing her to the side and to the ground. He fell in line with the others.

Anna scrambled to her feet, pulling her gun from her pants and flipping the safety off. _What do I do?_ She asked herself. _What do I do?_ She looked to Rick as he watched the carnage, begging them to stop. But it was too late; the last few walkers left the barn and were subsequently mowed down.

A heavy silence filled the air as what happened dawned on the group. Dale walked up beside her.

“It’s too late.” He muttered, taking in the scene. “It’s too late.”

And then a small growl emitted from the barn. The line prepared themselves for yet another walker. From the shadow of the barn stepped a little girl with shoulder length blonde hair and a blue shirt with a rainbow on its chest.

“Sophia!” Carol screamed. “Sophia!”  She ran toward her little girl. Anna winced at the sound of anguish. Daryl caught her in his arms, holding her from getting any closer. They fell to the ground. “Oh no. Sophia. Sophia.” Carol whimpered.

Anna felt the hot tears pour down her face. Her knees were weak as the animalistic grunts tore from Sophia’s throat.

Rick was the only one to move. He walked towards Sophia at a steady pace, drawing his revolver. Anna could just see the little girl for what she used to be – she could just see what had made Hershel hold onto the dead.

Rick raised his gun and fired.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

The graves for Sophia, Annette, and Shawn were finished quickly, nothing more than shallow holes in the ground. Hershel hadn’t left the house to attend, and so they had no one to read from the bible. Not that it mattered in the end. Those words were only meant to comfort the grieving. There was no comfort to be found here.

The groups gathered – everyone except Hershel and Carol come to say their final words to the dead. But, what was there to say? The air was filled with sobs and whispered prayers to a God that wasn’t listening.

Or maybe God was laughing at them – at their pain – Anna didn’t know, nor did she care. Once, Shane, Andrea, T-Dog and Jimmy started filling the graves around the bodies of their fallen loved ones, everyone dispersed. Anna couldn’t stand to look at Sophia’s tiny body as it was swallowed by the Earth. She turned away.

Her eyes landed on the retreating form of Daryl, and she wondered how he must be feeling – he’d tried harder than anyone to find her, and for what?

“Daryl!” she called, jogging to catch up to him. He paid her no mind, continuing on to his tent. “Daryl, hold up a second.”

“What do you want?”  He snapped, ducking through the tent flap. He started rolling up his sleeping bag.

“What are you doing?”  She asked, furrowing her brow.

“What does it look like?”  He sneered, tossing his belongings out of the tent before exiting.

“It looks like you’re packing.”

“Clever one, ain’t ya?” He mocked. He began to disassemble his tent.

Anna’s heart jumped in her throat.

“You’re not leaving, are you?”

Daryl threw down the stakes that held his tent to the ground.

“What’s it to you? Huh?”  He asked, stalking towards her. “What’d you think was gonna happen, huh? You think we were just gonna find that little girl? That you and me were just gonna ride off into the sunset, holdin’ hands, live happily ever after?” He was in her face now.

“Don’t do that.” She snapped, shoving him away from her. “Don’t shut me out.” Anna could feel the tears starting to prick at the backs of her eyelids. “Please.”

“Just leave me alone!”  He yelled.

She couldn’t breathe. She tried desperately to get air to her lungs, but there was nothing. She pinched her thigh. This was her fault. All of it. Everything.

Anna turned on her heel, running from Daryl as fast as she could, hiding within the confines of her tent. Her body felt like it was full of helium – like she would float away if she wasn’t anchored to something. She sat on the ground, running her hands frantically through her hair. _How could I let this happen?_ She asked herself. _How could I let Sophia get bitten?_ She started rocking herself back and forth, her right hand dropping to her thigh. _This is my fault. My fault. My fault._

“Anna.” She vaguely heard. “Anna, just take it.”

“Why?”  She snapped. She looked up to Anderson, who held out a single blue tablet in his hand, and a bottle of water in the other.

“Please, Anna.”

Anna clenched her jaw, her eyes hard. She lashed out, slapping the pill from Anderson’s hand. It disappeared into the dirt.

“This is your fault!” She yelled, jumping up. Anderson stepped back, tripping over his sleeping bag and falling to the ground. She hovered over him. “This is your fault! If you hadn’t stopped me from going after Sophia, maybe she’d be alive right now!”  She cried. Tears were flowing down her face, and she didn’t bother to stop them.

Anderson said nothing, simply staring back at her. “Say something!”  She screamed.

He sighed.

“You’re angry. I understand why you’re angry. And if you want to be angry at me then that’s fine. Just please take your medicine.”

“Go fuck yourself, Anderson.” Anna flung the tent flap aside and stormed away. She couldn’t stand to look at him. She wasn’t sure where she would go, but she didn’t care so long as it was as far away from Anderson as possible. Far away from everyone.

“Anna!” She whirled around, seeing Glenn running from the house and towards her. “We need your help.” He said, out of breath as he reached her.

 

“So, what? I’m suddenly a board-certified therapist now?”  She was incredulous as she stared between Glenn, Maggie and Rick.

“We have to go find Hershel.” Rick explained. “You’re the only one who’s got… experience with this kind of thing.” Rick looked her face up and down, no doubt seeing the red and puffy eyes.

Beth had collapsed after the funerals and had apparently fallen into an almost catatonic state of shock. She was now laying unresponsive in her bed surrounded by Patricia, Jimmy, Lori, and Andrea. Now, they expected Anna to be able to help her.

“Maybe you could give her some of your pills.” Glenn suggested.

Anna sighed heavily. 

“And risk making it worse?”  She ran her hand through her hair. “It’s not Tylenol, Glenn.” She shook her head.  “I’ll sit with her while you go find Hershel – there’s really not much anyone can do for her in the state she’s in except be there.” She strode away from them, heading for Beth’s room. “Just bring Hershel back.” She called over her shoulder.

A few hours passed, and Anna sat alone with Beth in her room, unwilling to join the others for supper. The young girl hadn’t moved. If not for the steady rise and fall of her chest and the occasional blink, Anna would have thought she was dead.

“I’m so sorry.” Anna whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. She watched the blankness in Beth’s face, hoping for even the slightest twitch. “I wish none of that horrible shit happened. I wish none of this ever happened.” _I wish I were in the ground with them._ She thought, choking back a sob. She wiped at the stray tears that had escaped. “None of this is fair, Beth. But, you need to wake up.”

Anna sighed, putting her feet on the ground and resting her elbows on her knees. She clasped her hands together and bowed her head, watching as small drops of water splashed on the wood floor. “Maybe it’s better this way…. Sophia. She’s not scared or hungry or in pain.”

Outside the window, Anna could see the pile of still smoldering corpses. _Bury the ones we love and burn the rest… isn’t that what Andrea said?_ “She doesn’t have to watch the people around her turn into monsters. She doesn’t have to watch the world burn.”

“Anna.” Anna jumped a little in her seat, looking to the door at Anderson. “Do you mind if I join you?”  He asked, leaning against the door frame. She shrugged and turned her attention back to Beth.

After what felt like forever, Anna finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry for what I said.” She muttered, not tearing her eyes from the young girl. “I don’t actually want you to go fuck yourself.”

Anderson chuckled a little.

“I know.” There was a pause before he continued. “Do you remember how cheerful Evan was in the morning? Every damn morning.” Anderson groaned, scratching at his scruffy beard.

Anna couldn’t help the small sad smile that played at her lips. “God, I hated that.”

“Yeah… imagine rooming with him in college for four years.”

“He was a good man.” Anna said, feeling her face fall as she shook her head.

“Yes, he was.” Anderson lowered his head as he took a seat across from her on Beth’s other side. He watched her face, but it was almost as if he wasn’t seeing her. “He was with me when my sister died. Every day until the funeral. Did I ever tell you how she died?” Anna’s gaze slowly traveled to Anderson’s face. She didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue. “She killed herself.”

Anna swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry. “After everything that she saw in Afghanistan she just… couldn’t take it.” Anderson leaned back in his chair, still watching Beth’s face. “I wasn’t there for her like I should have been. I… I failed her.” He finally looked to Anna. “I know you think that I’m only trying to keep you safe because of my promise to Evan, but it’s more than that.”

Anderson reached into his pocket, pulling something out in his clenched hand and reached over Beth to place whatever he had on the bed in front of Anna. “I know it’s hard to believe – I’m not the warmest guy around – but I do care about you.” He explained, holding Anna’s gaze with a meaningful look. “Daryl will come around. He just… needs time.”

He stood and strolled out of the room. leaving Anna staring at the bed where he had laid down a single blue pill and a silver-plated bracelet which read _May you live all the days of your life. – Jonathan Swift_.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Night had fallen, Rick and Glenn had yet to return with Hershel, and Lori was still missing. There was only one person everyone knew could help them, but he was currently isolating himself.

Daryl wasn’t too far from the group, Carol noticed. He could still see the farmhouse from where he’d set up his own solitary camp. Carol took in the skinned animals hanging from the tree, going down the line until she came across a necklace of walker’s ears. She grimaced at the sight and backed away.

A twig broke behind her, and she turned to come face to face with Daryl. “

What are you doin’?”

“Keeping an eye on you.”

“Ain’t you a peach.” He sneered.

“I’m not gonna let you pull away. You’ve earned your place.” Carol explained.

“If you spent half your time minding your daughter’s business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else’s, she’d still be alive!”  He seethed.

His anger was nothing she hadn’t experienced from Ed. It was nothing she couldn’t handle. She’d let him get it all out, she decided. If that’s what it took.

“Go ahead.”

“Go ahead and what?” She didn’t answer. She knew he didn’t want to hear it. “Just go!”  He shouted, throwing his hand up. “I don’t want you here!”  She remained silent, staring him down with a neutral expression she had mastered over the years. “You’re a real piece of work, lady.” Daryl got in her face, daring her to remain where she was. “What, are you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that?” She said nothing. “Pfft! Man, you know jack. You’re afraid. You’re afraid ‘cause you’re all alone. You got no husband, no daughter. You don’t know what to do with yourself.”

Carol tilted her head, her soft blue eyes seeing far more than anyone seemed to think. Daryl, she suddenly realized, wasn’t talking about her anymore. His words could have just as easily applied to himself, and he didn’t even realize it. Not yet, at least.

“You ain’t my problem!”  He continued. “Sophia wasn’t mine!”  He got louder and closer, but Carol didn’t flinch. “All you had to do was keep an eye on her!” She could hear the pain in his voice, see it in his eyes.

They stared at each other. She could see the realization dawning on him. He knew what he was saying, just as much as she did.

“Are you done?”  She asked quietly.

He took deep, steady breaths before he started walking away. 

“Yeah. I’m done.” He grunted over his shoulder.

Carol called after him.

“Don’t you go puttin’ those walls back up. She was just startin’ to tear them down.”

 

 

 

The group gathered in the dining room, the sun illuminating the space as it filtered in through the windows. Everyone was there aside from Beth, as she was still unresponsive, and Hershel. He was tending to their newest arrival, and Daryl, for whatever reason that Anna couldn’t fathom.

“We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out, if he lived that long.” Rick explained, leaning on the chair at the end of the table.

Glenn elaborated, unable to meet anyone’s gaze.

“It's gotten bad in town.”

“What do we do with him?”

Anna sat between beside Carol, with Anderson leaning against the wall behind her. She looked between the people talking, trying to make sense of the situation. What _did_ they do with him?  She found herself asking that a lot recently – what do we do?

“I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage.” Hershel interjected, walking into the room while wiping his hands of blood. “Won't be on his feet for at least a week.”

The young man, Randall, who had seemed roughly the same age as Anna, Maggie and Glenn, had jumped from the top of the pharmacy and landed with a metal gate pike tearing clean through his leg.

Rick adjusted his stance and sighed.

“When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way.”

“Isn’t that the same as leaving him for the walkers?” As Andrea asked this, Anna’s attention was drawn to the opening of the porch door. Daryl quietly made his way inside, nodding to Carol, who had also noticed him. Than his eyes fell on Anna.

“He'll have a fighting chance.”

Daryl and Anna stared at each other for a brief moment before she tore her eyes away. She felt as though her heart was in her stomach as she remembered the way he had yelled at her, the way he had shut her out. She wondered what had happened to make him come back.

“Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are.” Shane warned, stepping up from his position at the windowsill.

“He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat.” Rick assured, holding his hand out as if to keep Shane at bay. _No._ Anna thought, _He’s the least of our worries._ She narrowed her eyes at Shane as he continued questioning Rick’s judgement.

“Not a threat?” Shane scoffed. “How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?”

“They left him for dead. No one is looking.” Rick snapped, clearly fed up with Shane. The two men stared at each other. Everyone could see the challenge in both of their eyes, waiting for the other to break first.

“We should still post a guard.” T-Dog interrupted. Anna could see the logic in both sides, why half the group was so worried, and why Rick was so sure they were safe.

“He's out cold right now, will be for hours.” Hershel informed.

“It’s not him I’m worried about.” Anderson sighed. Anna grimaced. She figured he had already thought through all of the possibilities as the conversation went on in front of him. If he was concerned, Anna saw that she should be too. But, something in her gut had her looking to Shane as the most important issue to deal with.

“You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy.” Shane said, walking off. “Look at this, folks.  We’re back in fantasy land.”

“You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet.” Hershel snapped, calling Shane’s attention. “Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all. This is my farm. Now, I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So, do us both a favor, and keep your mouth shut.”

 _Go Hershel._ Anna thought, smirking at the incredulous look on Shane’s face. Shane took a quick glance around the room. No one spoke up for him. And then his eyes landed on Anna’s smirking face. He scoffed and turned on his heel, shoving the porch doors out of his way with more force than necessary.

 _"I’ll deal with you later.”_ That was what he had said to her. Did he know that she had lied to him? That she had helped Dale take off with the guns?

Rick interrupted her thoughts with a sigh.

“Look. We're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off.”

The group went their separate ways after that, the impromptu meeting adjourned. Anna rose from her seat, looking over her shoulder at Anderson as he spoke to her. She couldn’t quite focus on his words, however, as she felt a pair of eyes on her. She chanced a glance and saw Daryl retreating outside, Carol following close behind.

 

 

 

“Are you going to talk to her?” Carol asked once they were both out of ear shot.

“Talk to who about what?” Daryl snapped. He shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. He didn’t mean to snap.

Carol didn’t seem to mind – or at least, didn’t outwardly show it – as she pushed on. “Anna.” She sighed. “Are you going to talk to her about what happened?”

Daryl didn’t stop walking back to his tent, which was off by an old burnt out house.

“She doesn’t want to talk to me.” He grumbled, ducking into his tent.

Carol followed him inside, not giving up just yet.

“You don’t know that. Maybe she thinks you’re still mad at her.”

“I was never mad at her.”

“She seems to think so.” Carol heaved a sigh. “She blames herself, you know? And she thinks you blame her too.”

Daryl stared up at Carol, processing her words. _But, it wasn’t her fault._

“How do you know?”

“She’s not that hard to read.”

 

 

 

Anna was sitting cross-legged in front of a small stone laid over a long patch of dirt. In her hands was a pretty white shirt with ruffles for sleeves and white buttons down the middle that looked like daisies. Anna had scrubbed the blood from the hem of the shirt-- using lye soap Patricia had loaned her-- and managed to get most of it out. She folded it neatly in her lap, smoothing out the wrinkles, and moved the stone aside. There, in the indent it left behind, she laid the shirt before placing the stone over it, so that it wouldn’t blow away.

“I told you not to wear it until we got to Fort Benning.” Anna whispered to the grave. “I should’ve just let you wear it – you were so excited.” She shook her head. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that.”

Anna looked down at the bracelet around her wrist, reading the inscription for the tenth time that day. It was this bracelet that made her decide to come here.

“I’m so sorry, Sophia. I—” she paused, wiping at a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “I should have tried harder to find you. I should’ve protected you. You were with me and I didn’t protect you.” She heaved a sigh as she stood, wiping off the dirt and grass that had clung to her jeans.

There was nothing left to say, and nothing that could change anything. She wanted to apologize to Sophia, but what was the use?

“It wasn’t your fault.” Anna jumped in her skin and whirled around. Daryl wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at the white shirt tucked under Sophia’s stone. He tore his eyes away from the grave and met her gaze.

She stared back at him, wanting desperately to tell him he was wrong. That everything was her fault. She wanted to scream and cry that she wished he had never found her in those woods, never saved her life, never caught her in that bathroom. But, she couldn’t. Not with the way he was looking at her. Like he could see right through her, read every thought that crossed her mind.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He repeated, taking a step towards her. She took a step back, shaking her head.

“You’re wrong.”


	21. Chapter Twenty

A week passed. Anna hadn’t returned to Sophia’s grave.  Things seemed different between her and Daryl since their encounter. Though they hadn’t said much to each other since, the looks they exchanged were… loaded, to say the least. And they still had Randall to worry about.

Anna found herself gravitating to Beth, sitting and talking with her – though it was more like she was talking aloud to herself, and Beth just happened to be in the same room. She didn’t blame her. She saw in the girl what others had seen in Anna plenty of times before. And it was because of that “experience” as Rick had called it, that Anna was consulted on more than one occasion regarding what to do with Beth.

“You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.” She had explained. “She won’t get better if she doesn’t want to get better. Just… make sure she knows you’re there for her.”

Now, she sat out in the generator shed while Hershel filled up the generator tank with fuel, speaking with him about her anti-depressant.

“I’m reluctant to give her any, but if it comes to that, I’d want your professional opinion.”

“Zoloft at 150 MG?” Hershel shook his head. “I’m just as reluctant. That’s quite the dose.”

Anna nodded her agreement.

“But, it’s what we have. We can’t make a run into town now with the walkers taking it over.” Anna massaged the back of her neck. “I’m not saying we give her any right now. I’m saying we discuss our options.”

Hershel looked to her, giving her a sad smile as he turned to her.

“We’ll discuss our options.”

 

After her talk with Hershel, Anna felt like they were finally taking a step in the right direction when it came to Beth. She had tried not to overstep any boundaries. This was a family matter, as Lori seemed keen on reminding her, so she conceded whenever Hershel or Maggie made a final decision. Thankfully, the two seemed content with deferring to her advice.

Anna headed for the RV, intending to relieve Glenn from watch, when she saw Andrea smiling.

“Something funny happen?”  She asked, walking up to the woman. She had decided she would genuinely try to be civil towards Andrea, having come to terms with the fact that they would always be at odds.

“No, but something good did.” Andrea replied, nodding.

“What?” Anna asked, furrowing her brow. She hadn’t expected the blonde to be so… forthcoming.

“I gave Beth what no one else would.” Anna narrowed her eyes, tilting her head in confusion. “I gave her a choice.”

Anna stared at Andrea for a moment, processing what she said.

“Andrea—” she began, ready to ask the woman to clarify, but than it hit her. And she ran.

She flew into the house and darted up the stairs to where Beth’s room was. She could hear Maggie banging on the bathroom door, begging for Beth to unlock it.

“Where’s the key?” Lori asked, and Maggie went to rummage through Beth’s drawers in search of it.

“Lori, move!” Anna shouted, grabbing for the fire poker. She shoved the sharp end between the door and the frame and yanked it as hard as she could. The door came open with a crack.

“I’m sorry.” Beth cried, turning to them. She held her wrist, trying to stop the bleeding.

Anna froze at the sight.

“I… I—” she couldn’t get the words out.

“Anna, go get Hershel.” Lori commanded. “Anna.” Lori squeezed Anna’s arm softly, grabbing her attention. “Go get Hershel.”

Anna nodded, and took one last glance at the blood dripping to the floor and the panicked look on Beth’s face before she took off to find her father. On her way down the stairs, she paused and pulled her inhaler from her pocket, taking a long breath as she squeezed the puffer once.

 

“Hershel!”  She called. The man came striding out of the horse barn at the sound of his name. “Hershel! You need to come! Quick! It’s Beth.” She didn’t have to say anything more before the old man came barreling past her.

Anna stood there, standing on the porch, staring off at the horizon.

_“Have you ever tried to?” Glenn finally asked. His voice was so quiet.  He was afraid, but also hoping, that she hadn’t heard him._

She had never answered him. She wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to. But, she could remember it as plain as the sun hanging low in the sky. The feeling of the pills sliding down her throat one by one until she couldn’t feel anymore, until lifting the next pill took all her effort and focus. The way her brother walked into the room and wrapped his arms around her, hauling her to the feet she’d forgotten how to use. The way she could barely hear him yelling at her to just stay awake, keep talking. The way “I’m sorry” lazily spilled from her mouth. The charcoal was the worst part. The nurse had handed her the cup and said it’s this or a tube, drink it all. And she did. She drank it all until there was nothing left but the pain.

She remembered the way the nurses had praised her for realizing her mistake and calling for help. She couldn’t tell them that they were wrong. Did Beth feel the same?

“Where were you?” Maggie demanded as Andrea ran up to them. She hadn’t realized Lori and Maggie had joined her on the porch.

“I heard. Is she all right?” Andrea asked, ignoring Maggie’s question.

“She would be if you had stayed with her. Where were you?”

Anna furrowed her brow, looking to Andrea as she caught her breath. “How bad is she?”

“It wasn’t deep.” Lori informed.

“She wants to live.” Andrea breathed a sigh of relief. “She made her decision.”

“She tried to kill herself.” Maggie snapped.

“No, she didn’t.”

“My father is stitching her wrist right now.”

“She’ll live.” Andrea went to walk past Maggie, who stepped into her path.

“Stay away from her.” She warned. “From both of us.” Her voice was low and angry. “Don’t you dare step foot inside this house again.”

Andrea looked to Lori, who simply averted her eyes, and then to Anna. Anna stared back at her as Maggie turned on her heel and went to head inside. Andrea nodded and turned away, headed off back to the RV.

Lori caught Maggie as she reached the door.

“I’m not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice. She wants to live and now she knows it.” Lori looked inside the house and took a deep breath. “And sometimes you have to cross the line.”

 

Anna sat beside Beth, explaining everything she knew about her medications, making sure she knew what to tell the others if there was a problem.

“I cut it into quarters, so it’s not too much.” She said, as she handed Beth the smallest piece of the blue tablet.

Beth nodded and popped the pill into her mouth before gulping down water to wash it down.

“What about you?”  She asked, placing the glass of water on the bedside table.

Anna shook her head.

“I take half a pill every other day – Zoloft stays in the system for about two days.”

“No—I mean… have you ever tried?” Anna felt herself pale at the question. She looked down at her hands, trying to think of what to say. She had to tell the truth, of course – but how much of it?

“Y-yes.” She stuttered. “I, uh… yeah. Not too long ago, actually.”

“How’d you do it?”

“Beth—”

“I’m not askin’ for ideas.” Beth assured. “I’ve made my choice.”

Anna sighed heavily, looking at the young girl. God, she was so young.

“I… took a bunch of pills.”

“How’d you make it through that?”

Anna pursed her lips, her heart pounding in her chest.

“My brother found me, took me to the hospital, and they made me drink charcoal.” She explained, licking her lips. Her mouth felt so dry all of a sudden.

“Charcoal?”

She finally realized what Beth was searching for. Something they were all searching for, now, Anna supposed. Something that the patients at the Behavioral Health Unit had been searching for when they asked the same questions. They were looking for someone in the dark to reach out to, to confide in, to know that they weren’t alone.

Anna finally smiled, patting Beth’s hand, and explained to her what the charcoal did before going on to tell her all about the Behavioral Health Unit, the people she’d met, and how she had learned to cope.

“You have to find something to fight for and hold onto it. Never let it go.”

“What are you holding on to?”

Anna paused, her mind immediately going to Sophia. But, she was gone – slipped through her fingers like water. And she thought of Carl, still healing from the gunshot wound, but alive. She thought of Anderson, who had taught her so much over the past two and half months and done so much for her, protecting her, caring about her.

Finally, she thought of Daryl; the way he smiled and laughed and teased her. The way he tried so hard to act like he didn’t care. The way she could see past the bravado, see how soft he was, how hurt. The way he had tried so hard to find Sophia. The way he had told her it wasn’t her fault.

“The people that are still here.” She smiled. “The people I love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Under no circumstances should you ever share medications.


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

Anna was pacing, arms crossed over her chest as she pinched her left bicep through her flannel. The air was getting colder as winter was setting in. But, the weather was the least of her concerns. Rick and Shane had brought Randall back and locked him in the shed where Daryl was now… questioning him.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Lori asked as she poured a cup of camp coffee. “We’d all feel better if we knew the plan.”

Anna stood beside Anderson, waiting eagerly for the verdict. She was okay with driving him eighteen miles out and leaving him to fend for himself – if a bit reluctant at first. But, that plan had failed, and now they had another decision in front of them. Another _what do we do?_

“Is there a plan?” Andrea asked.

“Are we going to keep him here?”

Rick looked to Shane and then turned his gaze to the shed.

“We’ll know soon enough.”

Anna looked over her shoulder to see Daryl approaching, having finished his interrogation. She saw the blood on his knuckles.

“Boy there's got a gang, thirty men. They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here; our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna—” he paused. “They're gonna wish they were.”

Anna paled. She understood the implications.

“What did you do?” Carol asked.

Daryl looked down at his knuckles.

“Had a little chat.” He said.

“No one goes near this guy.” Rick commanded.

“Rick, what are you gonna do?” Lori asked, walking up to him.

“We have no choice.” He said. “He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat.”

Anna guffawed.

“You can’t be serious.” It couldn’t be as simple as that.

“Anna, quiet.” Anderson hissed in her ear.

She turned towards him as Dale broke into the conversation.

“You're just gonna kill him?”

“It's settled. I'll do it today.” Rick declared, cutting off any further discussion.

Anna shook her head as the group dispersed.

 “You’re okay with this?”  She asked, facing Anderson. “He’s just a kid!”

“Anna, Rick is right – that _kid_ is a threat. Him and his group. We can’t risk it.”

Anna was incredulous.

“What if the situation was reversed? Huh? What if I were taken hostage by Randall’s group?”

“From the sounds of it? Randall’s better off.” He said, scratching his beard as he walked away.

Anna groaned and stormed over to their tent to calm down.

“Anna, wait!” Dale called.

She looked back to see him jogging over to her.

“I need you to do me a favor.”

 

Anna sat on the barrel outside the shed, checking and rechecking her Beretta. There was grunting coming from inside.  Randall trying to pull himself free, no doubt.

“Hello?”  He called, seeming to finally notice she was there. “Hey, can I get some water?” She didn’t answer or move from her spot. “Please? I’m very thirsty.” Anna couldn’t leave – even to get him some water. She opened her mouth to say as much when she heard footsteps approaching. She steadied her gun at her side, waiting to see who it was. Shane stalked around the corner.

He scoffed when he saw Anna at her post. Anna forced herself to relax, tucking her gun into the waist band of her jeans.

“Dale, huh? What, he put you on death watch?” He sneered at her. “Let me ask you something— say I wanted to go in there right now, and I just wanted to take care of this.   You gonna stop me?” He hummed as he waited for her reply, looping his thumbs through his front belt loops.

“I’m a better shot than your prodigy.”

“Yeah? So, what, you buy into Dale's sob story? That's cute. Let me ask you something else— Every time we have a problem around here, who do you think's behind it?”

“Some might say you.”

“You mean Dale? He fillin’ your head up with stories about me? Is that why you covered for him when he took off with our guns?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Anna went to pinch her thigh, but pulled her hand back, instead choosing to rest it on the gun at her hip, drawing strength from the cold metal of the Beretta.

“Alright. I’ll let you and Dale keep tellin’ your lies, but you best stay out of my way. I’m doin’ what’s best for the group.”

“I don’t think anyone cares what _you_ think is best for the group. Rick’s the real leader now. And that makes you nervous, doesn’t it? Not being in control. Is that why you thought about shooting him?”

“You don’t know shit.”

“I know enough… like what happened at the CDC.” Anna bluffed. She flicked her eyes down to his jaw, where those long pink scratches used to be.

Shane tensed, staring at her, searching for some sort of sign that showed she was lying. But, she gave nothing away, keeping her gaze locked with his, though she felt sweat trickle down the back of her neck.

“What happened then, Anna? Since you know everything.”

“I think Lori’s got plenty to say.”

His jaw clenched.

“I’m tryin’ to help this group survive!” He snapped, notably changing the subject. “Rick, he’s—"

“He’s making sure we deserve to.”

And then they heard the chains clanking loudly from the shed. Shane made it to the door first, ripping it open to reveal Carl backing away from Randall.

“What the hell are you doin’ in here?” Shane demanded, glowering at Carl. “What did you say to him?” He turned to Randall, drawing his sidearm and shoving Carl back.

“I didn’t say nothing.” Randall cried out as Shane wrapped a hand around his throat, shoving him against the wall.

“Shane! Back off!” Anna shouted, drawing her Beretta and training it on the ground. She didn’t want to shoot Shane if she could avoid it. She didn’t want to shoot anyone.

“Let me tell you something, I will shoot you where you stand. Open your mouth.” Shane growled, trying to shove the muzzle of his gun into Randall’s mouth. “Open your mouth!”

“Shane!” Anna leveled the gun on Shane’s head, her hands shaking.

“You like talking, man? You like talking?”  He shrieked before he very suddenly pushed himself away from the younger man. He tucked his gun into his pants and looked back at Carl.

 “Get your ass out this door.” Shane snapped, grabbing a hold on the collar of Carl’s shirt and dragging him out of the shed.

Anna lowered her gun and stared at the terrified Randall, cowering against the wall.

 

“So, how do we do this? Just take a vote?” Glenn asked, seated at the piano.

“Does it have to be unanimous?”

“How about majority rules?” Lori suggested, standing behind Rick.

“Well, let’s— let’s just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options.” Rick said.

“Well, where I sit, there’s only one way to move forward.” Anna glared at Shane from her spot next to Dale.

“Killing him, right? I mean, why even bother to take a vote? It’s clear which way the wind’s blowing.” Dale took the words right out of Anna’s mouth as she looked around the parlor. Everyone was avoiding eye contact with each other.

“Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know.” Rick stated.

“Well, I can tell you it’s a small group— maybe just me, Anna, and Glenn.”

Glenn said nothing, staring at the floor as Dale chanced a glance at him.

“Look,” Glenn began. “I think you’re pretty much right about everything all the time, but this—”

“They’ve got you scared.” Dale spat.

“He’s not one of us!” Glenn exclaimed. “And we’ve lost too many people already.”

“He’s alive! He’s a person –  and he’s probably lost people, too.” Anna cried out. “Since when did it become us against the living?”

Several pairs of eyes darted around, glancing at each other.

“Couldn’t we continue keeping him prisoner?” Maggie asked.

“Just another mouth to feed.” Anna turned in her seat and stared wide eyed at Daryl. How could he say something so callous? But, of course, this was Daryl. The group continued to bicker, suggesting they try putting Randall to work, tying him up and escorting him around the property. But ultimately, it came back to the same problem.

“Let’s say we let him join us.” Anderson finally spoke up from his position on Rick’s left side. “Maybe he’s helpful, and we let our guard down. What happens when he runs off and brings back his thirty men?”

Dale scoffed.

“So, the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?” He looked around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes, challenging them. “If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization.”

“Oh, my God.” Shane groaned by the fireplace. Hershel suggested driving him further out, but Lori wasn’t having it.

“If you go through with it, how would you do it?” Patricia interjected from the corner. “Would he suffer?”

“We could hang him, right?” Shane shrugged. “Just snap his neck.”

“I thought about that. Shooting him may be more humane.” Rick said. Anna’s stomach lurched at the idea of doing either of those things.

“And what about the body?” T-Dog asked. “Do we bury him?”

 _Bury the ones we love, burn the rest._ Did that sentiment apply only to walkers, or did the living count too? Anna thought back to all the walkers they had killed and burned – someone loved them once. Each walker used to be a person. What would happen if she turned and they weren’t there to put her down and bury her? Would someone else just burn her corpse? Or leave it on the side of the road, a bullet in her head?

“Hold on, hold on! You’re talking about this like it’s already decided.” Dale sputtered.

“You’ve been talkin’ all day, going around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?” Daryl crossed his arms.

“This is a young man’s life, and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation!” Dale said firmly. “Is this what it’s come to? We kill someone because we can’t decide what else to do with him? You saved him and now look at us. He’s been tortured.” He looked to Daryl. “He’s gonna be executed.” He then looked to Rick. “How are we any better than those people that we’re so afraid of?”

“We all know what needs to be done.” Shane retorted.

Apparently, they didn’t, because they continued arguing about it, interrupting and speaking over each other.

“All right, that’s enough.” Rick eventually said, rubbing his face in exasperation. “Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance.”

The room was silent.  Maggie took a seat and Anna stared at her hands. For a writer, she sure had a lack of words. She’d gone to school to spin stories, not to argue for a man’s life.

“You once said we don’t kill the living.” Dale began.

“That was before the living tried to kill us.” Rick reminded him.

“But don’t you see?” He said, gesturing with his hands. “If we do this, the people that we were— the world that we knew, is dead. And this new world is ugly. It’s harsh. It’s survival of the fittest. And that’s a world I don’t wanna live in. And I don’t believe that any of you do.” He paused before continuing. “I can’t. Please. Let’s just do what’s right.” He begged. “Isn’t there anybody else who’s gonna stand with me?”

“He’s right.” Andrea said, and Anna nodded, her face tight.

“We should try to find another way.” Anna chimed in.

"Anybody else?” Rick asked.

No one said anything, the silence stretching on. Anna bowed her head, feeling tears prick at her eyelids. So, this is what they had become.

“Are y’all gonna watch, too?” Dale asked, seeming to be fighting back his own tears, his voice cracking. “No... you’ll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we’re slaughtering a human being.” Dale walked from the room, only stopping to place his hand on Daryl’s shoulder. “This group is broken.”

 

Anna sat around the campfire with the others, glaring into the low flames as they all waited. Her leg shook, her elbows propped up on her knees and her hands folded in front of her face. Everyone suddenly stood, and Anna looked over her shoulder to see Carl walking through the camp, his head bowed, and Rick following behind.

“We’re keeping him in custody for now.” Rick announced. “We’ll wait out the night and see what happens. Daryl’s takin’ him back to the shed.”

Andrea stood, a grin on her face. “I’m gonna find Dale.”

Anna didn’t care. She jumped from her seat and stormed out of the circle of light, then headed towards the shed. Even in the darkness, she could already see Daryl forcing a struggling Randall inside.

As she neared, Daryl was locking Randall inside.

“Just another mouth to feed, huh?”  She demanded. Daryl looked up at her sudden arrival. “Is that what I was?”

“That was different.”

“How? I wasn’t part of your group - I was nothing to you!”

“I don’t know how. It just was.”

Anna scoffed. “Don’t give me that, Daryl Dixon. I was some nobody in the woods about to get eaten, and you saved me. For what? How is this different?”

“You were helpless, and on your own.”

“He’s helpless now!”  She shrieked, gesturing to the shed.

“I’m tryin’ to keep us alive!” Daryl snapped, echoing what Shane had said to her earlier. Only this time, she believed it.

“How are our lives worth more than his? Why do we get to decide that?”

“He shot at Glenn!”

“And if the roles were reversed?” She countered. “What if Glenn was the one held hostage? What if it were me? What then?”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Oh, like you give a shit.”  She hissed. “You sure didn’t when we found Sophia in the barn. You just walked away.”

“This ain’t about Sophia.”

“No, this is about you killing a human being –  and for what?”

“For you!”

Anna stared at him in the darkness, her eyes wide. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to think of something to say. She could only shake her head. 

“That - you don’t mean that.”  She whispered, her heart in her throat. Daryl peered back at her, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

“Forget it.”  He muttered, turning on his heel and walking away. She could only watch him leave for a brief moment before her legs were moving. Her hand reached out and grasped his arm, pulling him around to face her. He stared down at her, his brow furrowed. She didn’t think. She just pressed her lips hard against his.

It was different from the kiss she’d given him at the CDC. This time she wasn’t crying for the people who were gone. This time she could really see the man in front of her. This time she knew what she was doing.

He didn’t move. He didn’t breathe until she pulled away. They watched each other, waiting for some sort of reaction.

And then there was a scream.

 

She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, falling behind Daryl. She thanked whatever was watching over them that they were close to the source of the scream. She could see a cow laid out in the pasture and a walker. But the walker wasn’t bent over the cow. No. It was Dale.

“No!”  She gasped. Daryl tackled the walker, knocking it clear of Dale, but it was too late. The man’s intestines were spilled out in his lap. Anna gagged at the sight, but she didn’t look away, taking in his pale face as he stared wide-eyed back at her. She fell to her knees by his side and began trying desperately to push his organs back inside him.

“No, Dale! Please!”   She begged, her vision blurring with tears.

He cried out in pain at her efforts, coughing as blood spurted from his mouth. Daryl pulled her away.

“Stop!”  He snapped in her ear, tossing her to the ground. The others appeared one by one, crying in anguish as Dale suffered before them. Anna looked dumbfounded between him and her blood-soaked hands. She couldn’t save him.

Rick screamed for Hershel, who only told him what they all knew – he wasn’t going to make it. Taking his gun from his holster, Rick held it out. _Why is he hesitating?_ Anna asked herself. _He’s suffering._ Hot tears streamed down her face as she watched Daryl step up and take Rick’s gun gently from his hand.

“I’m sorry brother.”


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

“Dale could— could get under your skin.” Rick began, the group standing around four graves, one freshly made. “He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave.” Anna stood between Anderson and Daryl, her head bowed as her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

“Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us— the truth. Who we really are.”

Anna’s hands shook at her sides. She tried to steel her face, to fight back the tears, but they slipped down her cheeks with ease. There was a warm pressure against the back of her right hand and she chanced a look. There, Daryl had pressed his hand against hers – not exactly reaching to hold it, but still letting her know he was there. She pressed her hand back to his, drawing strength and warmth from him as Rick continued.

“In the end, he was talking about us losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we’re gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale.”

 

After the funeral, everyone set about their tasks. Andrea, Shane, T-Dog, and Daryl went to check the perimeter while the others packed up camp. Anna was drained. Last night had been an emotional roller-coaster, and she was still processing everything that had happened. Even when they were lowering him into the ground, Anna couldn’t believe Dale was actually dead. For whatever reason, the fact didn’t sink in until Glenn tucked the man’s hat into his pocket.

 _This is really it_ , she thought as she shoved her journal into her bag. _This is our life now._ Anna shook her head and stood. She couldn’t think about that. She didn’t want to. She just recited the inscription on her silver-plated bracelet like a mantra. _May you live all the days of your life._ They were words to live by before and after the end of the world, but especially so now. Now, death hung over them like a heavy cloud – they had no more time to waste.

And it was with that idea in mind that Anna flung her bag into the back of the blue Ford pick-up and jogged to where she had seen Rick and Daryl last on the porch, going over their plan for Randall.

She jogged around the truck and made her way along the side of the house, then walked straight into a solid object.

“Ow.” She groaned, rubbing her face as she back up a step. She looked up to see Daryl standing in front of her.

“Watch it.” He griped, taking a step to the side to walk around her.

“Wait!”  She called, grabbing hold of his sleeve. She saw him tense, and she immediately dropped her hand to her side. “I just… I just wanted to apologize.” She stammered. “For what happened last night. If I crossed a line.”

Daryl stared back at her, his eyes unreadable. She felt a lump form in her throat while she waited for his response. She just wished he’d say something – anything.

“Got nothin’ to apologize for.” He finally said before walking off.

Anna stared after him, her mouth hanging agape as he walked away. And then a smile broke out over her face. _Now on to the reason I was looking for them in the first place,_ she declared to herself, turning on her heel. As she neared the porch, she heard the voices of Rick and Shane in an exchange of heated words. She paused, hoping she hadn’t been spotted yet. Their continued conversation assured that they hadn’t noticed her.

“How about I ride out with Daryl? Be good for us to spend a little time together.” Shane suggested, and Anna’s stomach did an uneasy flip.

“Nah, I need you here.”

“Don’t think I’ll handle it right, huh?” Shane asked.

“Didn’t say that.”

“What you say?” Shane asked. He paused.   She could see through the railing as he pulled a gun from his pocket. She tensed, her hand resting on the Berretta as her hip. “You know, your son… he gave me this.” Shane placed the gun on the railing in front of Rick. Anna felt herself slowly start to relax, but he was still too close to that damned gun. “You should get that back to Daryl, huh? Freeing that prisoner.” Shane chuckled mockingly as he backed away. “More important to you than Carl.”

With the final biting words, Shane stormed away.  She couldn’t focus on that now. There was something slightly more urgent to take care of.

“Hey, Rick?”  She called softly, stepping up onto the porch.

“When did you get there?” Rick asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

Anna shrugged as she approached, carefully leaning against the railing as she leveled him with an intense gaze.

“We need to talk about Shane.”

 

Randall was gone. Rick and Andrea inspected the inside of the shed while Daryl circled the outside. Anna had climbed up onto the roof and searched for any signs that he had climbed through the openings. There were none.

She noticed the distinct lack of Shane’s presence, but she said nothing. After everything she had told Rick about Shane, what she’d heard and what she’d experienced for herself, he had asked her to stay quiet. She would just have to trust him to make the right call.

“What’s wrong?”  She heard Lori call as she and the others approached the shed.

“Randall’s missing.” Glenn explained. Anna climbed down from the roof.

“How?” Anderson demanded. “How long has he been gone?”

“The cuffs are still hooked. He must’ve slipped ‘em.” Rick explained, exiting the shed with Andrea. Anna came around the corner.

“Is that possible?” Carol asked.

“It is if you’ve got nothing to lose.” Anna chimed in, crossing her arms over her chest.

Hershel interjected. “The door was secured from the outside.”

“Rick!” Everyone turned to the nearby tree line as Shane called out. “Rick!” he called again. “He’s armed! He’s got my gun!”

“Are you okay?” Carl asked.

“I’m fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face.” Anna saw the blood running down the man’s face, and she narrowed her eyes. His story wasn’t adding up. She glanced at Rick and saw him subtly hold his hand out to her. He knew. Of course, he knew.

“All right, Hershel, T-Dog and Anderson, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us.” Rick barked out the orders and the men jumped into action.

“T, I’m gonna need that gun.” Shane demanded, holding out his hand for the weapon.

Anna’s stomach tightened, and she reached for Daryl before he could walk away.

“Be careful.” She whispered to him. He looked back at her, taking in the panicked look on her face, and nodded once before pulling his arm from her grasp.

“Just let him go.” Carol pleaded. “That was the plan, wasn’t it, to just let him go?” Anna wrapped her arm around Carol’s shoulders, trying to guide her back to the house.

“The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun.” Rick snapped.

“Don’t go out there! Y’all know what can happen.”

Anna shushed her, patting her arm.

“It’s okay. They can handle this.” She soothed, dragging Carol back with her.

“Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!”

 

 

Daryl and Glenn made their way through the forest in the darkness, Glenn failing to be quiet as he stepped heavily on branches and leaves. Daryl kept his eyes peeled, but his crossbow lowered. He knew something was off about Shane’s story – if anything, he’d killed Randall himself, which was nothing for them to worry about. But, he needed to be sure, so he said nothing and followed Rick and Shane into the woods.

When Anna had grabbed hold of his arm and whispered for him to be careful, he’d seen the look of panic on her face. If he hadn’t also seen the way she looked at Shane as he approached, he would have thought she was afraid of Randall. But, Randall was the least of her concerns.

“We’re just back to square one.” Glenn groaned.

Daryl kept the light shining on the ground as he glanced back at his companion.

“If you’re gonna do something , you might as well do it right.” He wasn’t referring to Randall running away, of course. “There’s two sets of tracks right here. Shane must’ve followed him a lot longer than he said.” He pointed at the ground where he was sure Glenn would see what he was talking about. And then he saw the blood on the tree. “There’s fresh blood on this tree. There’s more tracks.” He said, narrowing his eyes. “Looks like they’re walking in tandem.”

They followed the path laid out for them until Daryl noticed something new. He stopped, and Glenn bumped into him from behind.

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, there was a little dust up right here.” He muttered.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean something went down.” _But, not what Shane said._

“It’s getting weird.” Glenn said, looking around at the trees.

Daryl silently agreed.

“Had a little trouble.” Daryl said as he gestured to a black strip of cloth on the ground, the one they used to cover Randall’s eyes. Glenn picked it up to examine it, as if doing so would tell them more about the situation. And then they heard movement from behind them.

The two darted behind some trees, hiding to try and ambush whatever was coming up on them. Daryl peeked around the tree. He could see a dark figure walking, and just barely make out the torn pant leg swinging with every step. It was Randall. _Guess Shane didn’t kill him,_ he thought.

He readied himself to aim his crossbow when Glenn took a chance to peek around his own tree, but Randall had already come upon them. Grabbing hold of Glenn’s hoodie, he let out a guttural growl. The unmistakable sound of a walker.

Daryl swung around, aiming for the head when Randall threw Glenn to the ground, then came for him. He fired his shot and missed, falling to his back as Randall pounced on him. Daryl grunted, staring into the face of walker Randall snapping his jaws. Daryl tried to keep him at bay, two words echoing in his head as Randall mouth inched closer and closer to his face.

_“Be careful.”_

The weight lifted from Daryl’s body as Glenn grabbed hold of Randall and threw him to the ground, grunting as he swung his machete into the walker’s head, effectively putting it down.

Daryl panted as he stood, taking stock of Glenn’s handy work.

“Nice.” He said, before kneeling to inspect the body. “He got his neck broke.” He said, checking everywhere he could think a walker would have gotten him.  He saw nothing. “He’s got no bites.”

“Yeah, none you can see.”

Daryl shook his head, his brow furrowing. “No, I’m telling you. He died from this.”

“How’s that possible?”


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

There had been a gun shot. Anna stood at the upstairs window, keeping vigil over the night as she waited for Daryl, Glenn, and Rick to return. She didn’t expect nor hope that Shane would be with them and had already lost hope in Randall’s survival.

She chewed nervously at the dead skin on her lip, her arms wrapped tight around her torso as she waited.  

_"Be careful.” She said, staring at him with a look she hoped conveyed everything she was feeling. Everything she was thinking. She wanted to tell him everything, but there was no time. She had to trust that he understood the panic in her voice._

“Anna.” She turned at the sound of her name and saw Anderson at the doorway. “They’ll come back.” He assured, stepping further into the room. She nodded, turning back to the window. “There’s something going on, isn’t there?”  He asked, taking a seat on one of the plush chairs in the room.

She pinched her bottom lip between her fingers, nodding again.

“It’s Shane.”

“I know. His story didn’t add up.” He agreed.

“And you didn’t say anything?”  She asked, whirling around.

“You didn’t either.” She clenched her jaw. He was right. Of course, he was right. “I’m following Rick’s lead.” Anderson heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But, there’s more, isn’t there?” She heard a door open and shut and knew that the men were back. She wondered if Shane was with them. She wondered if Rick was.

Anna grimaced. She knew Anderson would eventually get to that.

“I kissed Daryl.” She finally said, not bothering to try and hide it. “He seemed okay with it.” She shrugged, sitting down across from Anderson. She leaned back in her chair, leveling the man with a neutral gaze as she waited for his reaction.

“Are you sure about this, Anna?”

“I’m sure.” She nodded.

Anderson stared back at her and sighed.

“Then I can’t stop you.”

“You never could.”

She let a playful smile dance across her face before she stood.

“I’m going to see who came back.”

“You say that like you’re not sure.”

Anna paused at the door. “Shane is Rick’s best friend—was. It’s not going to be easy for Rick to do what he has to.”

“But, he will do it.”

Anna nodded. “He has to.”

 

Downstairs, she found Daryl heading back out the door.

“Where are you going?”  She asked, casting a glance into the parlor to be sure no one was watching them.

“Rick and Shane ain’t back. I’m goin’ out to find ‘em.” He explained.

Anna nodded, crossing her arms. “What about Randall?”

“Turned.” Of course, he had. Shane must have expected a walker-fied Randall would be able to occupy Glenn and Daryl long enough for him to take out Rick.

“Please, be careful.” She whispered. He didn’t say anything as he nodded and stepped out the door.

“What the hell?”  She heard him call. She ran out the door, followed closely by the others, and they looked out into the field in the direction of the old barn. A herd was lazily making its way through the pasture – larger than the one on the highway.

“Patricia, kill the lights.” Hershel whispered.

“I’ll get the guns.” Andrea declared.

Anna pulled her own Beretta from the waist band of her jeans and flipped the safety off.

“Maybe they’re just passing, like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?” Glenn asked. Anna shook her head. That was wishful thinking.

“Not unless there’s a tunnel downstairs I don’t know about.” Daryl turned to him. “A herd that size would rip the house down.”

“Carl’s gone.” Everyone turned to Lori as she came jogging out of the house, panic in her voice.

“What?”

“He—he was upstairs.” She stammered. “I can’t find him.” Glenn suggested he was hiding, but they all knew that wasn’t the case. The boy was notorious for wandering about when he wasn’t supposed to. Following his dad when he wasn’t supposed to. Carol assured her that they would look and find Carl, and they ran off to search.

Andrea passed out the guns.

“I got the number—it’s no use.” Daryl stated, having counted how many walkers were approaching the house.

“You can go if you want.” Hershel assured, loading his shotgun.

“You gonna take ‘em all on?” Daryl asked.

“That’s suicide, Hershel.” Anderson agreed.

“We have guns.” Hershel said. “We have cars.”

“Kill as many as we can. And we’ll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm.” Andrea agreed. They were all unwilling to give up. All except Daryl.

“Are you serious?”  He asked.

“This is my farm.” Hershel said, his voice steady. “I’ll die here.”

Daryl sighed.

“All right. It’s as good a night as any.” And he hopped over the railing and to the ground.

Anna took a deep breath, steeling herself for the battle to come, and pushed her way through the others to take up a post nearby, intent on safe-guarding those who weren’t going to fight.

“Anna.” She expected Anderson to try and talk her into staying inside, but he was silent as he loaded his gun on the porch. It was Daryl who had called her name as he walked up to her.

“Be careful.” He whispered.

Anna swallowed hard, taking in the loaded look he was giving her. This was it. They would make their final stand on this farm. Live or die.

It happened too quick for Anna to fully register that it had happened until he was sauntering off with his crossbow slung over his shoulder. He pressed his lips to hers. It was soft and over far too soon. She watched his retreating form until he disappeared behind the vehicles and heard the roar of his motorcycle coming to life. The others followed suit, taking up their own vehicles.

“You didn’t seem to mind that.” Anna glanced at Anderson as he stood beside her, his .45 steady in his hands.

She smirked at him.

“Not at all.”

“Anna, we could use your help!”  She heard Carol call from the doorway. Anna’s face fell as she remembered they currently had a missing child.

She took the steps two at a time and brushed past Lori.

“What do I do?” Lori shrieked.

“Lori, look at me.” Anna demanded, grabbing hold of Lori’s shoulders. “We will find Carl.” She turned to Carol. “Carol check the basement and the first floor. Lori—” she turned back to the frantic woman. “You check the upstairs. I’ll take the attic. We’ll meet back here after. Patricia, Beth?” She released Lori as she approached the two blondes at the window, “You’ve got a gun?” Patricia nodded, brandishing her small revolver. “Guard the front door, watch for the others.” She looked back to Lori and Carol still standing still. “Alright! Let’s move!”  She snapped, and the three of them dispersed.

The second she got to the attic, she could see clear out the window that the barn was on fire. Anna stared as the flames consumed it with wild abandon. It was a horrifying sight, but maybe – just maybe – it would give them a fighting chance.

 She shook her head – there was no time for that. The farm was lost, and they’d yet to find Carl. She tore through the attic, hoping and praying he was there somewhere. God, please be safe. There was nothing. She climbed down the ladder, giving up on the attic. and made her way to the next room.

“Anna!”  She heard Lori calling. “I can’t find him!”  She cried coming into view. Anna could see through to the outside. The walkers were converging on the house now.

“Lori, you need to get Carol and the others, and you need to go.”

“Not without my baby!”

“Lori, you’ve got a baby right here to worry about.” Anna said, placing a hand on the woman’s stomach. “You need to find Rick and see if Carl’s with him. Now go!”  She shoved Lori towards the stairs. “We’re running out of time!”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine, just go!” Anna followed the woman down the stairs and out onto the porch.

“If my son is with Rick, he’ll be that way.” Lori said, pointing in the direction of the burning barn.

Anna shook her head, opening her mouth to speak when Anderson cut in.

“No, you need to make it to the highway – that’s where Rick will have gone.” He explained, pushing Lori towards the porch steps.

“Go! I’ll cover you!” Anna shouted, following close behind and firing at the walkers that got too close.

There was a scream, and Anna whipped around to see Patricia falling to the ground, covered in walkers. They were like leeches. Lori yanked Beth’s hand from Patricia’s and pulled her towards the blue Ford pick-up.

“Anna! Anderson!” Lori called.

“Go!” Anderson shouted, trying to push Anna towards the truck.

“I’m not leaving you!”  She snapped, shooting a walker as it approached her. She felt a sharp pressure in her scalp as a hand tangled in her hair, yanking her backwards. She let out a yelp and fell to the ground, swinging wildly, hoping to get free.

“Anna!” Anderson yelled. She heard a grunt as the pressure subsided, and then a gun shot. “Let’s go!” Anderson shouted. “We need to go!”

As they ran for the tree line, Anna watched as the old barn fell to the flames and the walkers surrounded the house, blindly following the scent of fresh prey.

Anna turned, suddenly, darting back to the house. “Anna!” Anderson caught her and wrapped his arms around her.

“No! We can’t leave Carl!” She screamed.

“Anna, it’s overrun!”  He shouted in her ear. “There’s nothing we can do except hope he’s with Rick.” He dragged her along until she had no choice but to follow.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

Daryl finally pulled over and turned the engine off on his bike as he spotted Rick standing on the side of the road, leaning on Hershel’s truck. Lori got out of the blue truck and Rick crossed the distance between himself and his wife in long strides, though Daryl could tell the man was exhausted. Rick clapped his shoulder after releasing Lori and his son from a desperate embrace.

“Where’d you find everyone?” Rick asked, his voice brimming with emotion.

“Well, those guys’ tail lights zigzagging all over the road—figured he had to be Asian, driving like that.” He teased, smiling at Glenn despite everything.

“Good one.” Glenn laughed, though he seemed drained.

 “Where’s the rest of us?” Daryl asked, casting his eyes about for a short head of brunette hair.

“We’re the only ones who made it so far.”

Daryl’s face fell.

“Anna?” Rick looked to him solemnly and shook his head. Daryl’s jaw clenched. He heard nothing else that was exchanged between the group as he paced off. He felt his heart tighten painfully, like an iron grip had wrapped itself around it. He slammed his hands against the blue pick-up.

He braced himself against the bed of the truck, bowing his head. _She’s gone._ He slammed his hands against the truck again.

He lifted his head and his eyes caught sight of a familiar canvas bag, tucked into the side of the truck as if it had been flung about in the chaos. Daryl reached over the side of the truck and plucked it from the corner where it was nestled, then flipped it open. Inside he saw a change of clothes, a small orange pill bottle with half a pill inside, an energy bar, a bottle of water, and an assortment of pens and pencils. Finally, he found the black and white notebook.

Daryl pulled it out and read the words scratched into the cover.

_May you live all the days of your life – Johnathan Swift._

He couldn’t bring himself to open it, so he shoved it back inside and closed the satchel. He stalked back to the group, throwing the bag over his motorcycle and hopping on.

“I’m going back.” He declared.

“No.”

“Can’t just leave ‘em there.” He snapped, his grip on the bike handles tightening.

“Look, Daryl – I know how you feel about Anna, but we have to trust that she and Anderson got away. They know how to take care of themselves.”

“So, we’re just supposed to abandon them?” Lori asked, her hand on Rick’s arm.

“We’ll find ‘em.” Rick said. “Right now, we need to focus on what’s in front of us.”

Daryl took a breath, not trusting himself to speak. He understood what Rick was trying to say. _We don’t even know if they’re alive._ It was the not knowing that was killing him.

_But if they are, we’ll find ‘em. I’ll find her._

_Five miles from the highway…_

 

Anna walked through the forest, her mind in a daze. She couldn’t feel the cold, or the aching in her lungs. She could only feel the pain in her heart. She stumbled over an exposed tree branch. She didn’t bother trying to regain her footing, simply falling in a heap on the ground. She rolled over and stared up past the dead trees reaching up into the sky.

 

_Their feet carried them through the forest at a slow pace, having stopped running once the sounds of the walkers chasing them faded into the distance. Anderson and Anna were alone, accompanied only by the sounds of their footsteps crunching along the forest floor._

_Anderson stopped, grunting as he leaned against a tree._

_“What’s wrong?”  She asked, stepping towards him. He held his hand out, silently stopping her in her tracks. She saw the blood on his hand and her heart sank. “Anderson?”_

_He slid down the tree, turning his body so he was sitting against the trunk, his head leaned back as he stared at her._

_“I can’t go any further.” He explained._

_“Bullshit!” Anna snapped, storming forward and yanking his arm around so that she could see his injury. There, through the blood-stained flannel shirt, was a single bite._

_“No.” she whispered, taking a step back. She shook her head, covering her mouth. “No.”_

Anna felt the pinch of her Beretta at her hip and pulled it out. She checked the clip. Three bullets left. 

 

_“Take it, please.” He held the gun out to her, leveling her with a tired gaze. He heaved a sighed. “I need you to shoot me, Anna.”_

_“You can’t ask me that.” She whispered, choking on her words. “I can’t….”_

_“You’re gonna have to get used to it sooner or later.” He pushed the gun into her hands. “Please – Don’t let me turn into one of them.”_

_The cold metal of the .45 burned her skin._

Anna sat up, pulling her Beretta into her lap and stared at the gleaming black metal.

_“Always save one bullet.”_

_Anna shook her head. “Don’t say that.” She snapped. “Don’t—"_

_“You need to listen to me, Anna.” He said urgently, cutting her off. “Always save one bullet in case… in case you get overrun.” Anna nodded. She could already see the light fading from his eyes. “Please, there’s not much time.”_

_Anna’s hands shook as she steadied the gun, aiming the muzzle at his forehead. He leaned forward._

_“Live.”_

 

Anna placed the muzzle of her Beretta against her temple. There weren’t any more tears for her to shed. No more pleas or prayers. There was just pain.

 Her index finger hovered over the trigger.

_May you live all the days of your life._

Her finger lifted off the trigger.

_“Live.”_ That was all he had asked her to do in the end. To keep living. She stared at the bracelet around her wrist, the cold metal shining in the dim sunlight.

A twig broke behind her. She scrambled to her feet, training the gun on whoever had approached her.

“What do we have here?”

She took in the sight of four strange men and three rifles trained on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That was the final chapter of "In Search of A Harbor" I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> A huge thank you to my dear friend and editor for going through this story with a red pen!  
> Be on the lookout for the next installment "Wreckage"
> 
> Lot's of love.  
> \-- PandaTurtle333


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